25 Funny Dumb Blonde Jokes
Laugh at 25 really funny dumb blonde jokes. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about blondes. You will sure find them funny, or we’re not Humoropedia.com.
1. Dumb Blonde In A Car
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”
2. Blonde Lost In The Desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”
Funny Video With Dumb Blonde Jokes
Check out this awesome video from Onision YouTube channel. In this video, Emo Charlie performs dumb blonde jokes in the most hilarious manner possible. He will have you laughing on the floor like a maniac.
3. Blonde Trapped On An Island
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Best Blonde Jokes About Their Stupidity
These are some of the best blonde jokes about their stupidity we could find. They are short and to the point, so you will love them. Here is our favorite of these blonde jokes:
4. Why do blondes hold their hands tightly over their ears? Because they’re desperately trying to hold in a thought.
5. Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? She was desperately trying to make up her mind.
6. How do you confuse a blonde? You don’t. They’re born that way.
7. Three blondes walk into a building. You’d think at least one of them would’ve seen it.
8. Why do blondes stare at orange juice containers for hours on end? Because they say “concentrate."
9. What’s every blonde’s dream in life? To be like Vanna White and actually learn the alphabet.
10. How do you keep a blonde in the shower all day? Hand her a bottle of shampoo that says “lather, rinse, repeat."
11. Dumb Blonde Inside A Dark Hole
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
12. Blonde Who Was Pulled Over For Speeding
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
13. How Dumb Blondes Solved A Serious Problem
There are eleven people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane.
Ten of them are blonde and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go. Finally, the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, “I’ll get off.”
The blondes, all moved by the brunette’s speech, start clapping. Problem solved.
14. Joke About Dumb Blonde Who Tried To Be Smart
There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals.
Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, “I’ve had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals.”
One of the guys, of course, said, “I don’t believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?” “N,” she answered.
15. Blonde Who Learnt Important Scientific Discovery
A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773.”
A blonde student responds, “Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.”
Do you want smart jokes?
16. Joke About Blonde Who Tried To Buy TV
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, “How in the world do you know I am a blonde?” The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,”That’s not a TV, it’s a microwave!”
17. Blonde’s First Football Game
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”
Blonde Joke Of The Day
Laugh away with Humoropedia’s Joke Of The Day collection.
18. Funny Dumb Blonde Joke About Mysterious Computer File
Somehow dumb blonde managed to install a new computer program. She opened the folder with it. There she saw a file that said “readme.txt”. She thought for a while. Then she called her boyfriend and asked: “Why is the file asking me to read him?”
19. Blonde Hiding From The Police
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks.
The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, “Woof woof!” The cop thinks it’s a dog, so he walks to the next one.
He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, “Potato potato!”
20. Excited Blonde
Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, “two to four years.”
21. Blonde Waitress
A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana. As they approached Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch.
At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.”
22. Blonde’s Part-Time Job
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man’s wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?” The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already?” he asked. “Yes,” the blonde answered, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. “Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that’s not a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
23. Blondes’ Road Trip
There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down.
They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better.
The first blonde takes the radio and says, “If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music.”
The second blonde decides to take a wheel, “In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled.”
The third blonde takes the car door, “In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!”
24. Blonde In A Doctor’s Office
A brunette goes into a doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain.
The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette are you?” She says, “No, I dyed my hair. I’m naturally blonde.” “I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”
25. Blonde Taking An Order
Liked these really funny dumb blonde jokes? Then why not share them with your friends?