Category: Satirical News Articles

Here you will find the Planet’s weirdest satirical news articles. We not only searched for these news. We also did our best to destroy them with our satire. So if you suddenly start feeling satirized and the next second find yourself in a hospital, you’d know who to sue and won’t embarrass yourself like this attorney:

 

Why You Should Expect Every US Politician To Get PhD At Your Expense

Why You Should Expect Every US Politician To Get PhD At Your Expense

I read an article about corruption in Russian higher education system. It is so corrupt it is funny. So I decided to share it with you, without adding any satire to it. It is so absurd that no satire has to be added to make it funny. So here is the excerpt from Slate Magazine: Some of the intellectual theft Dissernet has [...]
3 Signs That Kanye West Is Bipolar | See Em Now

3 Signs That Kanye West Is Bipolar | See Em Now

This is an article about Kanye West submitted to our site by Alex Miller. You can submit article too. Kanye West can be a jerk. But what if he can’t help it? Would you bash Kanye if he was bipolar? If so, you’re a jerk too. If so, I sincerely hope you choke on a chicken bone the size of Donald Trump’s money clip. I, like [...]
Devil Replaces John Boehner Who Resigned. Here's Why.

Devil Replaces John Boehner Who Resigned. Here's Why.

You may be wondering about the reasons John Boehner resigned. This article explains it all, from a creative point of view. You won't know the truth, but neither will you if you read other articles on the subject. So you may as well read this article and our collection of John Boehner jokes that show his true nature. On Se[...]
Hedge Fund Manager Shot Dead By His Own Son

Hedge Fund Manager Shot Dead By His Own Son

You probably have seen lots of movies and TV shows about the lives of the rich. Their kids do very little and get a lot of money. That's how they were portrayed. All of those TV shows and movies missed one interesting scenario, however: what happens when the super-rich father stops giving his spoiled son money? The realit[...]
This Is How Barack Obama Will Punish North Korea For Sony Cyberattack

This Is How Barack Obama Will Punish North Korea For Sony Cyberattack

You may have heard of a recent cyberattack on Sony. You may have also heard of allegations that North Korea orchestrated them. What you haven't heard is how Obama is going to do that, as he has issued only the following vague statement: "We will respond," Mr Obama told reporters on Friday, declining to offer specifics. "[...]
Do Internet Companies Consider Us Monkeys Or Humans?

Do Internet Companies Consider Us Monkeys Or Humans?

We all know about Internet's potential for abuse. Just start a site and track everyone you know. Now it's easy. Just install Google Analytics code and you're ready to spy on the world. Nothing wrong with it, huh? Seriously speaking, offenses of Internet companies have reached new lows - or highs - depending on whether yo[...]
'Most Americans Live In A Parallel Universe' Study Finds

'Most Americans Live In A Parallel Universe' Study Finds

The new study sponsored by US government has found that most Americans live in a parallel universe. What this means, is not immediately clear, unless you consider the official explanation. The official explanation is that there are more jobs than people. The official explanation is also that the economy is doing very well[...]
Internet Freedom: Something Both Obama and Republicans Want To Suppress

Internet Freedom: Something Both Obama and Republicans Want To Suppress

Republicans and Barack Obama have finally found something they can agree on. This something is Internet Freedom. Both Republican Party and Barack Obama have agreed that there is too much Internet Freedom in the United States. They have come to this conlusion after being lobbied by tech giants. These tech gians - which shall [...]
WTO Is The New Barack Obama

WTO Is The New Barack Obama

Barack Obama has ceded his presidential powers to World Trade Organization (WTO). He explained that decision with the following words: "I, Barack Obama, suck more than any other president of the United States. I destroyed more jobs than anybody else. I also helped the corporate America destroy any vestige of freedom that [...]
Warren Buffett Has Wasted 10 Billion Dollars On Facebook

Warren Buffett Has Wasted 10 Billion Dollars On Facebook

You may have heard of a legendary investor Warren Buffett. His net worth is estimated at 71.9 billion (as of November 2014). But now 10 billion of his money has been invested in Facebook stock. The reason he gave is interesting. Warren Buffett has claimed that he went insane and does not like money anymore. Facebook inve[...]
This Is Why Bo Pelini Is Happy To Be Fired

This Is Why Bo Pelini Is Happy To Be Fired

In an exclusive interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Bo Pelini said that he is 'happy to be fired'. Here is the full text of his answer: 'Am I sad to have been fired? Not at all. I am actually happy to have been fired. Now instead of working I can just kick back and relax, for the rest of my life. I have so much money[...]
Does This Woman Deserve 186$ Million Court Gave Her?

Does This Woman Deserve 186$ Million Court Gave Her?

In a strange twist of fate, the woman terminated from her job got a paycheck for 186$ million dollars. The reason she got it is just as surprising as the amount. The court awarded her this humongous amount of money because she got terminated due to pregnancy. Now you know that lottery is not the only way to get rich. [...]
UBER CONTROVERSY: How Uber Has Partnered With Mafia

UBER CONTROVERSY: How Uber Has Partnered With Mafia

The next time you order a car from Uber, make sure you paid your debts to organized crime. From now on, Uber will be cooperating with organized crime figures to help them get their debts back. It will likely use its vehicles not only to help mafia find the creditors, but also to dispose of their dead bodies, if they don't pa[...]
This Is Why Americans Have Voted For Republicans

This Is Why Americans Have Voted For Republicans

You may have heard that in the latest Congressional election Republicans have gained control over both houses. What you haven't heard, is the reason behind this development. The real reason Americans have voted for Republicans is the hate for their own politicians. Indeed, how can you not hate the people who have destroyed yo[...]
This Is How Food Throwing Led To Police Raid

This Is How Food Throwing Led To Police Raid

You may like to throw food at your friends and relatives. Well, don't do that in school. You may end up in jail for disturbing the peace. In California high school, two girls started a fight. Shortly after, two boys started fighting each other too. The boys apparently felt that if girls were stupid enough to fight, then t[...]
These Are The Terrifying Results of Using Apple Pay

These Are The Terrifying Results of Using Apple Pay

You may have heard that Apple Pay requires the use of fingerprints. What you haven't heard, is the terrifying results it had on its users. Only three weeks after its launch, lots of people have reported missing fingers. That's because they were cut off by the bad guys. To make purchases with stolen iPhones, the criminals[...]
Who Is Barack Obama: The Bitter Truth

Who Is Barack Obama: The Bitter Truth

The worst embarrassment to happen to African American population since Jim Crow. He has embarrassed this country more than any other black man. This said, he has shown that racism is outdated. His policies have been so incompetent that the whole world could see that the black president can be just as white as George Bush. Fo[...]
Amazon Releases Crazy, Trash-Talking Speaker

Amazon Releases Crazy, Trash-Talking Speaker

Amazon has released yet another futuristic product. Now Amazon is capable not only of delivering their products to you via air. Now Amazon is also capable of trash-talking to you whenever it wants to. CNN has reported that Amazon's new speaker called "I Hate Everyone But Jeff Bezos" will trash-talk every tech CEO except f[...]
Farewell To Horse: How Horse Has Eased The Suffering Of Cancer Patient

Farewell To Horse: How Horse Has Eased The Suffering Of Cancer Patient

You may have heard of a horse. It's an animal. What you haven't heard, is that it can give relief to cancer. A woman who has died from cancer saw a horse before her death. She asked the hospital staff to bring her favorite horse to have a final farewell: According to BBC News, "Sheila gently called to Bronwen and the h[...]
Non-Combat Troops Who Will Just Stare In The Distance

Non-Combat Troops Who Will Just Stare In The Distance

Obama sent a new type of troops to Iraq. They won't do anything. They will just stare in the distance. They have been called 'Obama's Philosophers'. This gesture is largely philosophical. Obama is not expecting these troops to have any impact on the situation in Iraq. Rather, he wants all the world to see what a lame duck[...]
Election Day News: Mud-Slinging Has Won By A Landslide

Election Day News: Mud-Slinging Has Won By A Landslide

You may have heard that Republicans like to engage in mud-slinging. What you haven't heard is that mud-slinging has won in every state. Even some of the Democrats who engaged in it have won. Observers are calling November 4th, 2014, the new mud-slinging day of the century. It has shown that mud-slinging is indeed the way [...]
This Is Why Gay Tim Cook Is Proud Of His Brother

This Is Why Gay Tim Cook Is Proud Of His Brother

You may have heard that Tim Cook is gay. What you haven't heard is that Tim Cook's brother is gay too, and Tim Cook is proud of that too. In a press release distributed only among the select few, Tim Cook has praised his own brother for being gay: "I believe deeply in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, who said: 'Lif[...]
This Is How Facebook Trending Ads Are Going To Annoy You

This Is How Facebook Trending Ads Are Going To Annoy You

You may have heard of a Facebook's new feature 'Trending'. It allows you to see what's popular on Facebook. What you haven't heard of, is the new feature for advertisers. It would annoy you more than anything else before, at least on Facebook. However, advertisers would love it - is not it what Facebook is for? Facebook's[...]
This Halloween, Barack Obama Dressed Up As This Character

This Halloween, Barack Obama Dressed Up As This Character

You may know about Obama's inferior intellectual abilities. You may also know about his poor job performance. Apparently, he has also realized how bad they are. So he dressed up as a village idiot. Obama has commented about his decision to dress up as a village idiot for 2014 Halloween with these words: I have received[...]
Regret Makes The Man Return The Stolen Cash

Regret Makes The Man Return The Stolen Cash

Have you ever read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky? If yes, you would probably find parallels between these news and that novel. If not, you should know that in that novel the protagonist confesses to murder. Well, in this case the protagonist - that is the criminal - has also turned himself in. Not sure how fu[...]
Bomb ISIS with junk food and video games

Bomb ISIS with junk food and video games

Bomb ISIS with junk food and video games. They would lose their will to fight. This strategy has worked before. The increasing obesity among US population is the proof of that. You may think it's a joke. To some degree it is, but it is also the ultimate truth that can save the world. When bombs are replaced with foo[...]
Barack Obama Is Now More Offensive Than N-Word

Barack Obama Is Now More Offensive Than N-Word

Remember times when the 'n-word' could get you in trouble in a black neighborhood? Well, now there is an even more offensive term. That incredibly offensive term is Barack Obama. Just recently - two days ago - a black teenager has beaten to death a Hispanic man who called him "Barack Obama". That Hispanic man meant it as [...]
Desperate Democrats are Transforming Conservatives by Stripping Then of Their Former Identities and Turning Them into Leftists

Desperate Democrats are Transforming Conservatives by Stripping Then of Their Former Identities and

Democrats are panicking as the GOP makes gains but they are doing something radical in response. They have resorted to a stunning tactic that transforms captured conservative candidates into left-wing activists through a combination of drugs, sensory deprivation, aversion therapy and intensive hypnosis. The story broke when f[...]
This Is How Detroit Politicians Will Screw Over Their People

This Is How Detroit Politicians Will Screw Over Their People

You may have heard of a Detroit housing crisis. Many houses in that city are either foreclosed or about to be foreclsoded. As a matter of fact, the things there are so bad that "about one third of residential lots are vacant or contain abandoned homes". But things are not as bad as they may seem. Besides the fact that ban[...]
This Star Wars Character Robbed The Bank

This Star Wars Character Robbed The Bank

Have you ever tried to rob a bank? Well, probably not. But how about dressing as Darth Vader? Well, someone has decided to combine the two: dress as Darth Vader, then rob a bank. Pretty good idea, if you are a fan of Star Wars who wants to share his passion for Star Wars with the bank. So thanks to this bank robber th[...]
A Bag Of Money Falls Off The Roof. Blame Bad Memory.

A Bag Of Money Falls Off The Roof. Blame Bad Memory.

Have you ever forgotten a bag of money on the roof of your car? You may point out you don't have so much money. Well then, have you ever forgotten your wallet on the roof? If you answered "no", you may have a pretty good memory. Otherwise, don't worry. You're not the only one who forgot a lot of money on the roof of the c[...]
To Watch Blacklist, Someone Tried To Hack This Website

To Watch Blacklist, Someone Tried To Hack This Website

You may have heard of a famous TV show The Blacklist. It is so famous Netflix paid 2 million dollars for each episode, a record amount paid by Netflix for TV show. What you haven't heard of is, the latest news story about Internet hacker who tried to hack into NBC website, apparently just to watch this show. I don't blame hi[...]
Republicans Tell The Poor Americans To Drop Dead

Republicans Tell The Poor Americans To Drop Dead

'Drop dead. Robots will replace you' Republicans tell the poor Americans loud and clear. You may have heard of Republicans' opposition to Obamacare. What you haven't heard of is, their new slogan: "Drop dead after you get sick. We won't pay your medical bills". This slogan has become a popular catchphrase among all Rep[...]
Americans Trust ISIS More Than Obama

Americans Trust ISIS More Than Obama

In a strange twist of public opinion, Obama, the president of the United States, has become less popular than ISIS. Though ISIS carries out terrorist acts and systematically beheads foreign journalists, Barack Obama still cannot compete with ISIS in popularity. Apparently, the Nobel Peace Prize has not helped him, neither[...]
Disability Has Not Stopped This Guy From Robbing A Store

Disability Has Not Stopped This Guy From Robbing A Store

This incident has once again shown hat disability - such as being bound in a wheelchair - is no hindrance to living a life, even a criminal one. Don't get inspired to live a criminal life. But do think about the possibilities of living in a healthy body. If being bound to a wheelchair has not stopped this guy from robbin[...]
This New US Measure Will Give Israel More Money Than Ever

This New US Measure Will Give Israel More Money Than Ever

You may know the extent to which US government supports Israel. What you don't know, is the secret measure that will Israel 10% of taxpayers' money. It is expected to go into Senate for debate next week. That measure is expected to meet with little resistance. But that's not because most of US Senators are Jewish. If[...]
Why Women Are Better Navigators Than Men

Why Women Are Better Navigators Than Men

Men often say that women cannot read maps. According to a recent study, this is false. Neither men nor women can read maps, and can locate themselves only with the help of GPS device. Technology has made people even dumber than they were. Just kidding, this study has found something else. In a study conducted by researche[...]
10 Dumbest Policies US Government Will Enforce Against ISIS

10 Dumbest Policies US Government Will Enforce Against ISIS

You may have heard of a brutal Islamist group ISIS. What you haven't heard of, is the new strategy of US government. It is so dumb even the main character of a movie Dumb and Dumber would seem smart by comparison. This US strategy aims to keep young Muslims out of the reach of ISIS propaganda, both at home and in foreign [...]
The World's Worst Leader Gets 2nd Nobel Prize

The World's Worst Leader Gets 2nd Nobel Prize

You may have heard of a black dude Barack Obama. Besides pretending to be a good president of the United States he does not do much. Some people say he watches TV all the time. Others say he just sits in the White House and smiles, while CIA and military-industrial complex are running the country. Regardless of what he e[...]
Nielsen's Glitch Paves The Way For Bigger Screwup

Nielsen's Glitch Paves The Way For Bigger Screwup

You may have heard of a company called Nielsen. If you haven't, it measures what consumers watch and buy. In short, it spies on you even better than Facebook. What you haven't heard of, is its secret new method for measuring TV ratings. Nielsen' secret new method aims to be more accurate than anything else invented. But t[...]
That's How They Self-Destructed Their Own Privacy Policy

That's How They Self-Destructed Their Own Privacy Policy

You may have heard of a new fad called Snapchat. This app sends supposedly disappearing photos. The problem is, they have been repeatedly found to be quite "appearing". People tend to steal them, save them, and use them for such sophisticated purpose as masturbation. So lots of news outlets have reported about the recent[...]
This Celebrity Claims She Has Microchip Inside Her Head

This Celebrity Claims She Has Microchip Inside Her Head

We tend to stay away from celebrity gossip. But this time it's just too funny to ignore. It's a story about a microchip inside celebrity's head. So now it's not only Intel Corporation that can brag about microchips. Now celebrities can brag about their microchips too. So the world is getting more equal. Amanda Bynes wh[...]
Why This Attorney General Won't Fight Same-Sex Marriage

Why This Attorney General Won't Fight Same-Sex Marriage

You may have heard that West Virginia's attorney general will no longer fight against same-sex marriage. What you don't know is the secret reason behind his decision. Unknown to most people who work with him, West Virginia's attorney general has been gay all his life. But he managed to hide it. He even has a wife and kids[...]
Cops Refuse To Investigate These Facebook Complaints

Cops Refuse To Investigate These Facebook Complaints

Ever called the cops after someone said something bad about your Facebook profile picture? Apparently, there are people who do just that. So if you are not one of them, you have something to be happy about. According to the latest report from the British police, some people cannot stop pestering them with disputes related[...]
California Is Creating Army to Attack Federal Reserve

California Is Creating Army to Attack Federal Reserve

This article has been written by Gary Anderson. It has been originally published on his blog. Greece and Detroit didn't have public banks. Your state and city are next at risk, as the Fed is forcing the Too Big to Fail Banks to sell their municipal and state bonds in favor of their favorite bonds, Treasury bonds and Pitif[...]
This Is How Saudis Protect ISIS From Getting Bombed

This Is How Saudis Protect ISIS From Getting Bombed

You may heard of Obama bombing ISIS. You may even heard of Saudi Arabia bombing ISIS. What you haven't heard of, is the secret arrangement between Saudis and ISIS. Saudis are going to notify ISIS whenever it plans to bomb them. This way, ISIS can be immune to airstrikes. This makes sense because ISIS is actually a brainch[...]
Zuckerberg's Attempt To Take Over Africa REVEALED

Zuckerberg's Attempt To Take Over Africa REVEALED

You may have heard of Zuckerberg's attempt at philanthropy called Internet.org. It aims to bring Internet to everybody, for free, with a smile, Zuckerberg-style. People would be exposed to all the wonderful places of the Internet, especially Facebook. So the plan of Mark Zuckerberg is to take over Africa with a smile. It [...]
Some People Too Lazy To Add Milk To Corn Flakes

Some People Too Lazy To Add Milk To Corn Flakes

Less that one third of Americans in their early twenties eat corn flakes for breakfast. These are the results of a survey that was intended to measure the habits of young Americans. Instead of measuring their habits it has found that the vast majority of them are too lazy to add milk to corn flakes. Not all of them have cited[...]
Obama Plans To Play 'Spin The Bottle' In This Terrible Way

Obama Plans To Play 'Spin The Bottle' In This Terrible Way

You may have heard of a recent decision to bomb Syria. No one supported it, except for Republicans. This tells us it was as bad as it could get. When Republicans support you, you must be doing something terribly wrong, or maybe you are working for Republicans, just like Obama is. Obama's assistant turned rogue and reveale[...]
Apple's Executives Wanted You To Avoid Taxes

Apple's Executives Wanted You To Avoid Taxes

You may have heard of a small company named Apple. Back in the day, it was founded in the garage by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne. It still is kinda small. It has only 500 billion dollar market capitalization and insanely ridiculous profits. These ridiculous figures may be the reason Apple is avoiding taxes.[...]
NFL Demands More Subsidies, Less Education | We Agree

NFL Demands More Subsidies, Less Education | We Agree

NFL owners are not happy with United States' education system. They also are not happy with the way subsidies are distributed. Neither are they happy with the enormous amount of money they are getting. You may have heard that NFL is a tax exempt entity. That's not because of their charitable contributions, however. That's bec[...]
Apple's iCloud Is Now Literally In The Cloud

Apple's iCloud Is Now Literally In The Cloud

You may have heard of a recent scandal surrounding leaked celebrity photos. What you haven't heard is the Apple's ingenious response. You may object that it wasn't ingenious, but then you'd be talking about something else. We do know that Apple has slashed prices for its iCloud services following the photo leak scandal. B[...]
Beyond iPhone: Apple's New Phone BendGate iBend

Beyond iPhone: Apple's New Phone BendGate iBend

You may have heard of a recent controversy surrounding bending of iPhone 6 Plus. You may have also heard that Apple responded by saying that it is 'extremely rare'. What you haven't heard is the secret memorandum Apple has disclosed to no one but only its select few employees. According to this memorandum, iPhone 6 Plus [...]
Secret Recording Reveals Rockefeller Conspiracy

Secret Recording Reveals Rockefeller Conspiracy

You may have heard a conspiracy theory regarding Mister Rockefeller and chips. If you have, skip the next paragraph; or if you haven't, refrain from skipping. The whole article is built around this intriguing concept. This conspiracy theory states that Rockefeller plans to implant each human being with a chip. This way h[...]
Republicans Angry Corporate Tax Breaks Are So Little

Republicans Angry Corporate Tax Breaks Are So Little

You may have heard of a recent move by Treasury Department and Obama to curb corporate tax evasion. They are trying to prevent American companies from moving overseas and then pretending to be foreign companies. On paper it sounded like these companies were doing a good thing though. Maybe that's why the Republicans are angr[...]
Ghost of Steve Jobs Visits Obama, Tells Him He Sucks

Ghost of Steve Jobs Visits Obama, Tells Him He Sucks

You may not believe this happened. But it did, the proof of which is that Obama sucks even more than before. Apparently, the bitter words of Steve Jobs have left an imprint on him. On the other hand, Steve Jobs has proven once again that he rocks. This time it has to do with his afterlife though. But we knew it'd be extr[...]
Texas To Secede From USA Because Of ISIS

Texas To Secede From USA Because Of ISIS

You may have heard that Texas sheriff has found signs of ISIS on Texan border. Those signs included such dire threats of violence as 'Muslim clothing'and 'Quran books'(SCARY!). The sheriff who found these dire threats of violence concluded that 'there are Muslims that have come across and have been smuggled in the United[...]
This Is The Reason North Korea Is The World's Best Country

This Is The Reason North Korea Is The World's Best Country

We, generally speaking, write news that are either satirical or funny but true. These news straddle both of these categories. They are both satirical, funny, and true, not to mention weird. Yes, indeed, they are so weird you would think someone made them up and passed them for reality. The guy who made them up is indeed w[...]
Obama: 'No Boots On the Ground. Only Classy Dress Shoes'

Obama: 'No Boots On the Ground. Only Classy Dress Shoes'

Obama has announced an addition to his latest policy. Now not only ISIS will be degraded and eventually destroyed, but it will also have to deal with American dress shoes. Obama has stated: "I previously said there will be no boots on the ground. It still holds true. However, there will be dress shoes. We will make sur[...]
Apple Fanboys Angry iPhone Costs So Little

Apple Fanboys Angry iPhone Costs So Little

You may want to pay as little as possible for a smartphone. But some people want to pay as much as possible. It should come as no surprise though. It has been revealed that Apple turns its customers into iPads. Maybe that's why Steve Jobs did not let his kids use them at home. If you don't believe my last statement, watch[...]
George Bush and Barack Obama Form A Boy Band

George Bush and Barack Obama Form A Boy Band

George Bush and Barack Obama have announced that they are forming a boy band 'A Bunch Of Retards'. Either Dick Cheney or Joe Biden is expected to join them. Barack is said to have been jealous of Jay-Z's success. More than anything else, he was jealous of his hot wife Beyonce. Sources close to Obama tell us he hopes t[...]
How Obama Will Use The Right To Be Forgotten

How Obama Will Use The Right To Be Forgotten

You may have heard of recent court case in which Google was forced to delete links from its search results. That case happened in Europe. But my time machine has helped me predict that those cases will soon happen in USA. Those cases would haunt Google's United States' branch, like the Christmas ghosts have haunted Scroo[...]
How Billionaires Are Rewriting The History

How Billionaires Are Rewriting The History

Following in Bill Gates' footsteps, US-based billionaires stepped up their efforts to influence the world. They are trying to influence not the present or future but the past itself. If you think this is straight out of sci-fi or something new, you're in for a surprise. Dictators have been doing it for centuries, even be[...]
How Turtle Put The Man In Jail

How Turtle Put The Man In Jail

Ever thought of eating a turtle? Think again. You may go to jail for doing so. I am not talking about a turtle that you would find in a gourmet restaurant. I am talking about a turtle that you would find on the streets. "I see turtles on the street every day" - you may think, smiling with sarcasm. Well, turns out there[...]
Scotland Plans To Become A Part Of Russia

Scotland Plans To Become A Part Of Russia

You may have heard of Scotland's Independence Referendum. But what you have not heard of, is the new plan for Scotland to become a part of Russia. This plan has been approved by both the governments of Russia and Scotland. But EU and Great Britain are in a state of rage. Scotland's government has explained a decision to j[...]
The Man Behind Celebrity Photo Leaks REVEALED

The Man Behind Celebrity Photo Leaks REVEALED

We all know this man. He has been with us for many decades. You may have cried with him, or you may have cried at him. You may also laughed with him, or at his hilarious jokes. But never have you laughed at him. So charismatic he is. Indeed, he is so charismatic he could convince millions of people to buy a ticket for a m[...]
Obama's Secret Strategy for ISIS REVEALED

Obama's Secret Strategy for ISIS REVEALED

Obama has been getting a lot of criticism for his handling of ISIS. Jimmy Dore Show have done an especially good job parodying his remarks. Maybe that's why he has finally come up with something far more effective. But please read our disclaimer before getting acquainted with Obama's new, totally secret strategy: Bewa[...]
This Is SENSATIONAL What CIA Director Has Admitted

This Is SENSATIONAL What CIA Director Has Admitted

CIA Director has admitted to spying on his friends and family. He said: "As a director of CIA, I have to set a good example. That's exactly what I did." When asked why he thinks it is a good example, he replied: "Everyone should spy on their friends and family. That's why I'm going to make sure everyone has the necessary [...]
That's Unbelievable How Justin Bieber Caused The Death Of Monkey

That's Unbelievable How Justin Bieber Caused The Death Of Monkey

Have you ever wondered what was the dumbest study ever? Now you may have an answer. This is the first time ever someone other than horny teenage girl has studied Justin Bieber. This time some of the world's most esteemed scientists have decided to study his music. They apparently have never heard it before, so they were [...]
'Dolphins Are Smarter Than Congressmen,' Study Finds

'Dolphins Are Smarter Than Congressmen,' Study Finds

You may have wondered: 'How dumb is US Congressman?' Now you don't have to wonder about it anymore. Researchers have answered it for you. They found that an average US Congressman is ten times less intelligent than the dumbest dolphin. They said that this comes as no surprise. They said the only thing they are surprised a[...]
2 Girls Fight Each Other On The Plane, End Up In This Place

2 Girls Fight Each Other On The Plane, End Up In This Place

You may have seen 'Snakes on a Plane'. It's an action movie starring Samuel L. Jackson. This movie shows Samuel fighting snakes on the board of a plane. He has apparently killed all the terrorists in a previous movie, so now he has nothing better to do than to fight innocent, bloodthirsty snakes. Actual plot is even more [...]
Drones May Start Flying Above Disneyland

Drones May Start Flying Above Disneyland

Imagine you saw black drones flying above Disneyland. Would you think Homeland Security have blacklisted Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck? If so, would you go hiding into the last refuge of American capitalism called Mcdonald's? Or would you fall on your knees and pray for God to call Homeland Security? Whatever you answered t[...]
President Nixon is Said to Be the Victim of CIA, Because...

President Nixon is Said to Be the Victim of CIA, Because...

If you are into conspiracy theories, you would find this article fascinating. If not, you would still find it interesting. Regardless, if you are history buff, you would definitely like it. Or if you don't like it, I apologize and ask that you pay me for not liking it. Imagine Jack Nicholson playing a crazy version of [...]
This Woman Got A Letter Telling Her SHE IS DEAD

This Woman Got A Letter Telling Her SHE IS DEAD

What would you think if you got a letter telling you 'you are dead'? Would you think you are in a bad remake of Sixth Sense? Would you think you are in a Sixth-Sense-themed reality TV? Those questions are just rhetoric. We know what you would probably think: someone is pulling a prank on me. But you would be wrong. This woman[...]
Justin Bieber is The New Minister of Culture in...

Justin Bieber is The New Minister of Culture in...

You may have heard of this slightly famous guy Bieber. You may even signed a petition for him to be deported. I would not be angry at you if you signed that petition. I would consider you the true friend of humankind and my own personal friend too. After all Bieber's behavior has been slightly imperfect recently. He [...]
Potato Salad Guy Inspires A Movie. Thanks Kickstarter.

Potato Salad Guy Inspires A Movie. Thanks Kickstarter.

You may have heard of a guy who raised '$55,492 for his potato salad'. Now he will get even more famous. Now he will get Brad Pitt famous. In a sense, he has already shown the world that potato salad can change the world. And boy, did he show it! Indeed, he has not simply shown it. He has taken this statement to its logic[...]
Are People Willing To Pay For Ad-Free Internet?

Are People Willing To Pay For Ad-Free Internet?

Have you ever come to a website only to leave it seconds later because of annoying ads? Have you ever screamed at your computer screen because of them? There is nothing shameful even if did scream at your computer screen. Lately, even decent sites - like "The Telegraph", for example - have started pushing ads that are too[...]
Student Arrested for Killing Dinosaur

Student Arrested for Killing Dinosaur

If you ever thought dinosaurs and guns are dangerous, you are not alone. Police think so too. And apparently they also think that dinosaurs can still be found. Police have arrested a young boy who posted on Facebook that he was going "to take care of business", referring to dinosaur. In other words he posted that he was g[...]
1 Simple Trick To Avoid Getting Screwed By Banks

1 Simple Trick To Avoid Getting Screwed By Banks

You probably are tired of banks screwing you over left and right. Well, so are we. That's why we think it's important that we share this information with you. Turns out the so-called "overdraft protection" is just another scam banks are using to enrich themselves. So you can easily minimize the amount of money banks suck [...]
Model's Silicon Breasts Poison An Animal

Model's Silicon Breasts Poison An Animal

Do you like women with big breasts? If you answered 'yes', think again. They may poison you with their deadly silicon. If you think I'm joking, ask the animal who got poisoned. The action took place in Israel. The workplace where it happened was a photoshoot. The woman was a model. The animal, on the other hand, was a poo[...]
This Monkey Knows How To Make Awesome Photos

This Monkey Knows How To Make Awesome Photos

Ever thought of yourself as a good photographer? Well, this monkey is a better photographer than you. In a strange twist of fate, this monkey snatched a photographer's camera and made lots of awesome photos. One of them is the one you see above. According to The Telegraph, here is how the photographer himself has described[...]
Can of Beer Helps Cops Bust A Criminal

Can of Beer Helps Cops Bust A Criminal

Ever got drunk? Ever got drunk and angry? Ever got drunk when you were angry? If you have answered 'yes' to any of the questions above, you are lucky you have not ended up like this guy. And you are an even luckier person if you did not end up in jail. This guy went burglarizing while drinking beer. No wonder he was di[...]
Twitter's Reaction To CEO's Slip-Up Is Hilarious and Priceless

Twitter's Reaction To CEO's Slip-Up Is Hilarious and Priceless

This story involving Yahoo CEO happened a while ago. This said, we think that lots of people missed or forgot it. And even if you have not missed it, it is still worth repeating, because something like that does not happen very often. And when it does, it is unbearably funny. While in Cannes, Yahoo CEO Marissa Meyer overslept[...]
Science Found The Best Excuse For Leaving Work Early

Science Found The Best Excuse For Leaving Work Early

Ever wanted to leave work early but could not find an excuse? After reading this article you will always have one. We do not guarantee that your boss will not be pissed though. Most likely he will find it "unacceptable", but will use it himself. The new book that came out points out that it is best to leave work at 2pm and go[...]
Elephant Uses Car To Get Relief From An Itch

Elephant Uses Car To Get Relief From An Itch

What if you were in the car while an elephant used it for an itch relief? I guess you would be pretty happy that your car has helped a wild creature with its natural need. But don't take my word for granted. Put yourself in elephant's shoes. Your ear is itching. Then there is suddenly something on wheels. What an opportunity [...]
Harvard Can Now Turn You Into Happy Zombie In 20 Minutes

Harvard Can Now Turn You Into Happy Zombie In 20 Minutes

Remember Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange"? If not, it is a classic sci-fi film in which Alex, the head of teen gangsters, "receives an injection that makes him feel sick while watching graphically violent films, eventually conditioning him to suffer crippling bouts of nausea at the mere thought of violence". In today's world, t[...]
Emergency! No longer possible to waste time on Facebook!

Emergency! No longer possible to waste time on Facebook!

Facebook was down for 40 minutes just yesterday. I did not even notice, until I read it in the news. But many people had a full-blown crisis. Some of these people called 911. Among them, a couple of Hollywood celebrities I personally know. There is no need to tell their names though. You already are well aware of their [...]
Is This The End of Internet Freedom?

Is This The End of Internet Freedom?

I am angry. I am very angry. I am very angry because Facebook, Twitter, and Spotify are acting like a bunch of a-holes. Here is what pissing me off, as reported by the great and only Wired.com: Stream unlimited music without any data charges. The offer from T-Mobile includes popular services such as Spotify, iTunes, and [...]
Piece of Poop Priced at 10,000$

Piece of Poop Priced at 10,000$

If you read this title and thought this could never happen, you're not alone. We, ourselves, could not believe it either. There is an easy explanation, however. This sh*t is so old it literally does not even have a smell. That is the only reason why it is so insanely cheap. Here is what the good old NPR has reported: [...]
Congressman Moron Replaces Drug Addict

Congressman Moron Replaces Drug Addict

BBC has reported that "last thursday US Representative Curt Clawson mistook two senior US officials testifying at a congressional hearing for representatives of the government of India." Nobody took a blood test though. Apparently everyone assumed he's just dumb. But maybe he was high on drugs just like his predecessor? If yo[...]
FBI Declassified File: 'Russian Atomic Bomb In... New York City'

FBI Declassified File: 'Russian Atomic Bomb In... New York City'

Remember the times of Cold War? Well, I'm not talking about the recent events In Ukraine. I'm talking about the time when Soviet Union was considered a threat to United States' national security. Well, just recently, a new document from that era has been declassified. The document is part of Government Attic, a website [...]
New Digital Currency Based On Who You Are

New Digital Currency Based On Who You Are

Remembering reading Friedrich Nietzsche? He's the German guy who said that "God is dead." What does it have to do with this new kind of digital currency made by Mister Anderson that has a different face value based on situation you are in? Well, Friedrich Nietzsche wrote about something similar. What he wrote was that[...]
Man Who Kicked Police Horse Vs. Men Who Wheeled Away Credit Union Safe

Man Who Kicked Police Horse Vs. Men Who Wheeled Away Credit Union Safe

This article is part of our series 'Who Is Weirder?'. In it we present you two stories of weird news and let you decide what person involved in those stories is the weirdest. Man Who Kicked Police Horse Would you kick a police horse? "Why?" You may ask. Well, this man did not need a reason. He just did it. Apparently h[...]
IT Worker Becomes Living Dead VS. Horse On The Balcony

IT Worker Becomes Living Dead VS. Horse On The Balcony

This article is part of our series 'Who Is Weirder?'. In it we present you 2 weird news and let you decide which 1 is weirder. IT Worker Becomes Living Dead If you look like dead, you may make a lot of money. "How?" You may ask. Well, you would have to lie around pretending to be dead. That's what a former IT worker Chu[...]
8 Weirdest News of the Month

8 Weirdest News of the Month

Check out the weirdest news we have found for you for the month of May. This has been a really weird month, if you follow the news. Of if you don't follow the news, just check the headlines below and you will be surprised how weird the world got. 1. For a limited time, you could get high on weed for free. "A woman who calls her[...]
High School For Sale: Student Prank

High School For Sale: Student Prank

Ever thought about buying your old high school? Well, now you can. You don't even have to be a multimillionaire. You even don't have to have corrupt connections in the bank to get a phony loan. All you have to do, is put it on Craigslist for a reduced price, make a bid to yourself, then accept it. Finally, sue your old high [...]
Man Steals GPS, Reports Himself Lost - Was That GPS Bad?

Man Steals GPS, Reports Himself Lost - Was That GPS Bad?

Call it the act of God. Call it Providence. Call it the bullshit of random universe. But if you intend to steal something, make sure your memory is good enough to find your way home. Otherwise, you would end up like this guy: calling the police to get back home. Only they would not take you home: they would take you to jail.[...]
Is He Dead? Or Is He Just Meditating?

Is He Dead? Or Is He Just Meditating?

Related: 55 Really Funny Animal Pictures and Jokes That's the question the Indian court is asked to answer, though the police have already ruled that he is dead. After they ruled that they changed their minds though. The guy suddenly seemed alive. Was it because someone suddenly helped them with cash? Or was it because they[...]
Restaurant Owner Tries to Murder Customer Who Found A Roach

Restaurant Owner Tries to Murder Customer Who Found A Roach

Suppose you come into a restaurant, order an eggroll, and start munching it, only to find a roach inside? What would you do? Would you just go to another restaurant or would you ask for a refund? ` If you said "ask for a refund", you may be shot at (with a big gun). That's what happened in Birmingham, Alabama. The owner of [...]
Talking Cars May Come to USA in 2017: Will They Stutter?

Talking Cars May Come to USA in 2017: Will They Stutter?

Very soon we may hear cars talk to each other. I already imagine what some cars will say to each other: "Get off the road you moron!" That would remind me of my wonderful family. Reuters has reported that "U.S. regulators are crafting a rule that would require all new vehicles to be able to 'talk' to one another using wireles[...]

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WTO Is The New Barack Obama

Satirical News Articles

WTO Is The New Barack Obama

Barack Obama has ceded his presidential powers to World Trade Organization (WTO). He explained that decision with the following words: “I, Barack Obama, suck more than any other president of the United States. I...