27 Best Presidential Jokes
Check out these 27 Best Presidential Jokes we have found for you. We did our best to bring you only the funniest. From best of Conan O’Brien’s jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, these funny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. And if they do make you think, we apologize: we know you don’t want to think.
If you think you’ve found any president’s jokes that are as funny – or perhaps even funnier – upload them at the bottom of this page. We would thank you.
Q/A: Funny Obama VS. Angry People
Q: What did Osama Bin Laden’s ghost say to Mitt Romney? A: Don’t be sad, Obama’s foreign policy killed me too.
Q: Did you hear about the new Obama Diet? A: You let Putin eat your lunch every day.
Q: How is Barack Obama going to get Republicans to cross party lines and support health care reform? A: By giving their mistresses free breast implants!
Q: Will health care be different under Barack Obama’s new reforms? A: No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then!
Q: Under Obama’s health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions? A: Certainly, as long as they don’t require any treatment!
Q: What do you get when you cross the president of the United States of America and a chicken? A: Baggawk Obama!
The Best Late-Night Jokes About President Barack Obama
”In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, ‘If you want to go forward you put your car in ‘D.’ If you want to go backward, you put your car in ‘R.” But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F’d.” —Jay Leno
”Today, by the way, is our president, President Obama’s, one-year anniversary in office. I looked it up. Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate.” —Jimmy Kimmel
”President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the president’s fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer.” —Jay Leno
Presidential Jokes by Presidents Themselves
“Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.” — Bill Clinton
“My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers." — Jimmy Carter
“In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” — John Adams
More Funny President Jokes
Bill Clinton Vs. Abortion Bill
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. “What is it?” exclaims the President.
“It’s the Abortion Bill, Mr. President – what do you want to do about it?”
“Just go ahead and pay it.”
The Achievement of George W. Bush
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
“What’s the matter, Mr. President?” The Vice President inquired.
“Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The President beamed.
“How long did it take you?”
“Well, the box said ‘3 to 5 Years’ but I did it in a month!”
Clinton’s First Lady
Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
A: She wants to be the first lady.
Jokes About Presidents: Clinton, Bush, Washington
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”
George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”
Bill Clinton’s asks excitedly: “Do we have time?
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U.S. Presidents – Featured Funny Video
Check out this one: Barack Obama Has Actually Done A Pretty Good Job Acting In It: He Should Have Become An Actor. He may have won an Oscar.
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