49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up
Pick one of these 49 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. Then vote for it at the page end.
These roasts are perfect both for school and bullies. You can also use them with success anywhere else. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers.
Remember to vote for your favorite one at the end and share it. Your friends would be amused.
Table Of Contents
25 Most Savage Roasts
- Where’s your off button?
- You’re so real. A real ass.
- I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.
- My hair straightener is hotter than you.
- I have heels higher than your standards.
- You have more faces than Mount Rushmore.
- I’m jealous of people who don’t know you.
- You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
- I’m visualizing duck tape over your mouth.
- You’re the reason I prefer animals to people.
- If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.
- I’d smack you, but that would be animal abuse.
- You sound reasonable… Time to up my medication.
- Hey, I found your nose, it’s in my business again!
- I might be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
- My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you.
- Is there an app I can download to make you disappear?
- 90% of your ‘beauty’ could be removed with a Kleenex.
- The people who know me the least have the most to say.
- I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm.
- I didn’t change. I grew up. You should try it sometime.
- My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
- I’m sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego.
- Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.
- It’s scary to think people like you are allowed to vote.
If you like these savage roasts, you’ll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. You may also enjoy a video below about the celebrity roasters.
17 Really Good Savage Roast Lines
- Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find your brain back there.
- I suggest you do a little soul searching. You might just find one.
- Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
- Maybe you should eat make-up so you’ll be pretty on the inside too.
- Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality.
- I keep thinking you can’t get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong.
- It’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
- I’d explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home.
- Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
- If you’re offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself.
- Everyone brings happiness to a room. I do when I enter, you do when you leave.
- I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach.
- When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help.
- I’m not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you.
- If you’re going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise you’re just an ass.
- I am not ignoring you. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
- No, no. I am listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.
5 Best Roasting Quotes
- You’re not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality.
- Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice.
- Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck it back in.
- No, no. I’m listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
- Please share a roasting quote picture below to Pinterest.
7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else
- A wife asked her husband: “What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor.”
- Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? They made an ass out of themselves.
- An old teacher asked her student: “If I say ‘I am beautiful’, which tense is that?” The student replied: “It’s obviously past.”
- A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks: “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you’d lift your hat to a lady.” He replies: “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Whenever your ex says “you’ll never find someone like me”, the answer to that is: “That’s the point.”
- My friend thinks he’s smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face.
If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. In case your favorite roast isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list.