61 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up
Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. Then vote for it at the page end.
These roasts are perfect both for school and bullies. You can also use them with success anywhere else. Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. In short, you’ve come to the right place because this page has the meanest roast list you’ll find.
On top of all the above, I’ve updated this page in 2021. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. I’m sure you’ll enjoy that bonus content. Continue reading and you’re gonna find it.
Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. Your friends would be amused.
Table Of Contents
25 Most Savage Roasts
- Where’s your off button?
- I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.
- My hair straightener is hotter than you.
- I have heels higher than your standards.
- You have more faces than Mount Rushmore.
- I’m jealous of people who don’t know you.
- You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
- I’m visualizing duck tape over your mouth.
- You’re the reason I prefer animals to people.
- If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.
- I’d smack you, but that would be animal abuse.
- You sound reasonable… Time to up my medication.
- Hey, I found your nose, it’s in my business again!
- I might be crazy, but crazy is better than stupid.
- My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you.
- Is there an app I can download to make you disappear?
- 90% of your ‘beauty’ could be removed with a Kleenex.
- The people who know me the least have the most to say.
- I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm.
- I didn’t change. I grew up. You should try it sometime.
- My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
- I’m sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego.
- Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.
- It’s scary to think people like you are allowed to vote.
If you like these savage roasts, you’ll also like this list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns. You may also enjoy a bonus video below about the celebrity roasters.
17 Really Good Savage Roast Lines
- Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find your brain back there.
- I suggest you do a little soul searching. You might just find one.
- Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
- Maybe you should eat make-up so you’ll be pretty on the inside too.
- Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality.
- I keep thinking you can’t get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong.
- It’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
- I’d explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home.
- Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
- If you’re offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself.
- Everyone brings happiness to a room. I do when I enter, you do when you leave.
- I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach.
- When karma comes back to punch you in the face, I want to be there in case it needs help.
- I’m not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you.
- If you’re going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise you’re just an ass.
- I am not ignoring you. I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
- No, no. I am listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.
7 Best Roasting Quotes
I’m sure you’re gonna like these roasting lines because they’re brutal yet witty.
- Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.
- You should really come with a warning label.
- You’re not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality.
- Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice.
- Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck it back in.
- No, no. I’m listening. It just takes me a moment to process so much stupid information all at once.
- Please share a roasting quote picture below to Pinterest.
10 Savage Roasts That Hurt
These are the most brutal roasts you’ll ever find. Use them responsibly only when absolutely necessary.
- The last time I saw something like you I flushed.
- I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch.
- Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.
- You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
- You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
- I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
- Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
- It’s impossible to underestimate you.
- You’re more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
If you like these savage roasts that hurt, you’ll also like these absolutely hilarious and best yo mama jokes.
7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else
- A wife asked her husband: “What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor.” I hope you won’t be saying that to your wife, or if you do, may God send you a gorgeous mistress if that happens. Either way, if you like this roast joke, I believe you’ll also like these funny one liner jokes.
- Did you hear about the two bald guys who have put their heads together? They made an ass out of themselves.
- An old teacher asked her student: “If I say ‘I am beautiful’, which tense is that?” The student replied: “It’s obviously past.” If you like the roasting lines you’ve just read, you’ll also like these awesome Little Johnny jokes.
- A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks: “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you’d lift your hat to a lady.” He replies: “If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.”
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- Whenever your ex says “you’ll never find someone like me”, the answer to that is: “That’s the point.”
- My friend thinks he’s smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut in his face.
If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. In case your favorite roast isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. So please do vote or expand this roast list with your own mean creation.
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