1. Well, that is not true! The court case has been dropped. So yeah, I didn’t piss on you, alright? At least the cops can’t prove it. No, I’m kidding. I didn’t do it. It’s over. I’m a free man. Check out some Funny Cop Jokes
2. We all carry these things inside that no one else can see. They hold us down like anchors, they drown us out at sea.
3. Just because she doesn’t have 100 plus likes on her profile picture doesn’t mean she’s not gorgeous.
4. My thing is when people come up and say to me good set tonight and I say you too and then you find out that person is not in any band. Happens to me a lot.
5. It does need to be addressed when a band looks as hot as we do. There’s no avoiding these facts. If they talked about our music first, and our looks second, then there would be cause for concern.
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6. Getting hit in the head with a bottle. In fact they missed, didn’t they? This year it was so bad I actually complained to the crowd and said: “Look, if you’re gonna throw a bottle, throw it right.”
7. I’d be Batman. He can do everything. He’s got a fucking body of steel. Check out Famous Batman Quotes
8. I can’t drown my demons. They know how to swim.
10. I was extremely unpopular at school. Once the hardest kid in school beat me up and there was a plan for about 30 other kids to kick me in the face once I was down. Good times! Check out some Funny School Jokes
10. The only way I’ll really smile is if you cut me ear to ear.
11. I think the fakest thing in the world is to judge someone on how they look.
12. The most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when I was wearing a hair extension and it fell out on set.
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