79 Water Puns & Jokes
These are the ultimate funny water puns and jokes you’ll find. LOL with ’em now or regret missing ’em forever.
This page has so many hilarious one liners about water you’ll feel wet after reading it. Pun intended. Plus, this page is intended as the ultimate source of captions for your awesome Instagram photos. So it’s a win-win both for adults and kids, as the jokes on this page are both kid-friendly and funny enough for adults.
But before laughing, here’s a fun fact. Water isn’t only the liquid you drink. It’s also the source of all humor. So says Humoropedia.com, so it must be true. Every comedian drinks water; without water, he would die. Thus, his jokes exist only because of water. So spread the word: water is the source of all humor. No comedian has any sense of humor. Only water can have sense of humor. Am I serious? Even I, myself, don’t know; but the water must know. It’s the ultimate alien.
Remember to vote for your favorite pun at the end of this page and share it.
Table Of Contents
5 Best Water Bottle Puns
- If you work at a water bottle factory, it must be difficult to not drink on the job.
- What do you get when you poke at a bottle of water? Tap water.
- What is a water bottle’s favorite game to play? Follow the litre.
- The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states. Solid, liquid, and gas.
- Cop stopped the man driving home from work and said: “You’re weaving down the road. Give me your water bottle.” The cop took a sip from that water bottle and said: “You’ve been drinking red wine.” The man looked at the sky and exclaimed: “Thank you Jesus! You’ve done it again!”
17 Funny Water Jokes
- When Chuck Norris touches water, he doesn’t get wet; the water gets Chuck Norrised.
- What do you call a car focused on crossing the river? Ford Focus.
- What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
- What do you call a melted snowman? Water.
- What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once? England.
- Why does water never laugh at jokes? It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
- Adele might set fire to rain. But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water.
- Why don’t plumbers like to work on instant hot water heaters? It’s a tankless job.
- Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
- How is Ruth Bader Ginsburg like hot water? She will be mist.
- Why is a river an amazing roommate? He just likes to go with the flow.
- Why do sharks only swim in salt water? Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
- Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well.
- Why are oceans so meticulous? They like to be pacific.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Water. Eh, water who? Water you waiting for? Open the door!
- What do mermaids sleep on? Waterbeds.
- How do you make holy water? Make sure to boil the hell out of the tap water.
If you’ve enjoyed these funny water jokes, you’ll probably also enjoy these awesome hot dog jokes. You’ll probably also enjoy the video below with two comedians doing the try not to laugh challenge while holding water in their mouths. It’s pretty hilarious, so check it out now.
15 Funny Water Puns
- What do you call a wet teddy bear? A drizzly bear.
- What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam.
- What can you do if you are the ocean? Watever you want.
- What do you call water that is good for you? Well water.
- Where do water droplets go to settle arguments? The Supreme Quart.
- What did the bottled water tell the spy? The names bond, hydrogen bond.
- What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water? One molar solution.
- Why did the ocean break up with the pond? She thought he was too shallow.
- Why did the lake date the river? He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
- Why did the ocean leave the party early? She was getting really tide.
- There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water. Number one. And number two.
- Why was the man using ketchup during the rain? Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
- Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube? He couldn’t stream the video.
- How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date? He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
- What runs but never walks? Water.
Do you like these puns about water? Then please share this page with your friends because they drink water too. Seriously, I’ve put a lot of work into this page, so I’d appreciate it and your friends would be amused to see something funny. You can also share just the last image to Pinterest. I’d appreciate it too.
9 Best Waterfall Jokes
- What falls but doesn’t break? Waterfall.
- What goes down but doesn’t let anyone go down on it? Waterfall.
- Why can’t the water stop falling? The waterfall won’t let the water stop falling.
- Why didn’t the dwarf fall and die even though he fell from a very high mountain? The waterfall wouldn’t let him die.
- Waterfall doesn’t speak but it keeps on running forever because it’s not a joke.
- What happens when water trips over? Waterfall.
- What do you call a waterfall that’s all dried up? A waterfell.
- Who’s Jason Waterfalls? And why don’t they want him to go?
- You’re in total seclusion from the whole world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall creates an absolutely serene atmosphere. The water is so clear you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under water. Feeling better?
If you like these waterfall jokes, please share them now and don’t fall into the waterfall the next time you see one.
5 Best Drinking Water Jokes
- If H20 is water, then what is H204? Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming.
- Dark humor is like clean drinking water. Not everybody gets it.
- Why are the Great Lakes running out of water? Because Americans are drinking Canada Dry.
- I stopped drinking water while studying chemistry. My notes say adding water decreases concentration
- If you ever feel blue, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep. That will give you a reason to get up in the morning.
9 Water Jokes For Kids
- What do you get when you throw a billion books into the ocean? A title wave.
- What kind of rocks are never under water? Dry ones.
- Where can you find an ocean with no water? On a map.
- Why is the ocean always on time? She likes to stay current.
- What is worse than when it is raining buckets? Hailing taxis.
- What did the sink say to the water faucet? You’re a real drip.
- What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese? Fowl weather.
- Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? They dropped out of school.
- What did one ocean say to another? Nothing, it just waved.
4 Sparkling Water Puns
- This morning, my wife asked if I wanted her to throw out my can of sparkling water that had been on the counter all night. I replied: “No, I’ll drink it. It’s still water.”
- My mom bought sparkling water drinks that tasted like devil’s piss. It was devil carbonate.
- Why doesn’t sparkling water sparkle? It lost its charm.
- Have you heard the latest sparkling water pun? No wonder you didn’t hear it. It sparkled instead of talking.
Why Is Water Wet Joke
Theoretical physicist Werner Heisenberg is driving in his car on the freeway. Police officer stops Werner and asks him: “Do you know how fast you were going?” Werner answers: “No idea, but I know exactly where I am.”
9 Cheesy Water Jokes
- If smart water is so smart, then how did it get bottled?
- How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? You use spring water.
- My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.” I know he means well.
- I bought powdered water. I don’t know what to add though.
- A man tried to swim across the Atlantic Ocean. He left New York and headed for England. He battled rough seas, strong currents, and freezing cold water. After 6 months, he was within one mile of England when he realized he was just too exhausted to make it to shore. So he swam back.
- A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
- What pants did Noah wear on the ark? High water jeans.
- What did the Reddit user say after setting off a water bomb in a bank? Wow, this blew up.
- The man in a black suit knocked on Sam’s house door. When Sam answered the door, the man asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. Sam gave him a glass of water.
Do you think these jokes are cheesy or corny? Then share their cheesiness with your friends right now.