Satan Jokes: 43 Best Devil Puns & Jokes From Hell You’ll Enjoy
Someone traveled to hell for these jokes, so you don’t have to, unless you wanna feel the heat. So check out these Satan jokes now because they’re the best.
Some of these devil puns are rude, but none of them are dirty. All of these devil jokes are clean and awesome. Mister fallen angel has personally approved their release because they meet his humorously evil inclinations. Plus, there’s hilarious bonus content that I’m sure you’ll enjoy because it’s simply awesome. In short, you’ve come to the right place for Satan humor. Lucifer has never been funnier than here on Humoropedia.com.
When the Devil realized he couldn’t be everywhere, he made a mother-in-law.
If you think this Satan joke is funny, please check out these mother-in-law jokes right now because you’ll like them.
9 Devil Puns
Did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.
How does the Devil take calls? On his hell phone.
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to Satan. It’s your basic “Sold My Sole To The Devil” novel.
Where does the devil do his dishes? Helsinki.
What’s it called when you sell your soul to the Devil to be skinny? Fausting.
What’s the devil’s favorite spice? Sinnamon. If you like this devil pun, you’ll also like these funny spice puns.
What happens when you give the Devil two eyes and turn him around? He becomes livid. I’ll see myself out now.
Why can’t the devil make money off YouTube? Because he keeps getting demonetized.
Why couldn’t the Devil find any cheese? There’s no whey in hell.
This devil pun will look good on one of your Pinterest boards.
If you like those funny devil puns you’ve read, you’ll also like these awesome cactus puns.
Hilarious Video
Watch this video now because this comedian is very funny. Have a good laugh now.
15 Funny Satan Jokes
People said many bad things about Satan. But is he really such a bad guy? Or did God run some fake news against him. I have no idea. But these awesome Satan jokes are funny as hell.
What did the optimist say in hell? I’m glad it’s dry heat.
Tim Tebow throws all his passes to the ground to hit Satan.
God said: “Let there be Satan, so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don’t blame everything on Satan.” George Burns
If you keep knocking on the Devil’s door, sooner or later he’ll invite you in.
What did Bill Murray say when he met Satan? I ain’t afraid of no goats.
After his death, a lawyer goes to hell. There, the lawyer says to Satan: “My presence here is a mistake. I’m too young to die. I’m only 42 years old.” Satan responds: “According to our calculations you’re 97 years old.” The lawyer then asks: “Where did you get that number?” Smirking, Satan says: “We added up your time sheets, bro.” If you like this Satan joke, you’ll also like these hilarious lawyer jokes, bro.
God exists because mathematics is consistent and the devil exists because we can’t prove it.
Yo momma so ugly she made the devil go to church. If you think this joke is funny, you’ll enjoy these very best yo mama jokes ever.
I don’t like it when Al Pacino does a movie with Keanu Reeves, but sometimes you have to give the devil his due.
How do I know that Satan runs the DMV? Because the priest says the devil takes many forms.
Wife: “Why are you home so early?” Husband: “My boss told me to go to hell”.
How can you tell which blonde is horny on Halloween? By her devilish good looks.
Why will you never see Satan in an Armani suit? The Devil Wears Prada.
Why should you always look at the fine print? Because the devil is in the details.
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If you’ve enjoyed reading these funny Satan jokes, you’ll also enjoy these awesome Halloween jokes.
5 Hell Jokes
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Husband yells into the phone: “How the hell would I know? I’m not a weatherman.” Wife asks him: “What’s that all about?” He responds: “Some guy keeps on calling and asking if the coast is clear.”
A serial killer and a beautiful woman are on a date. Before killing her, the serial killer says: “What does my head and hell have in common? They both have demons in them.”
I joined a satanic cult the other day, just for the hell of it.
The teacher said that a whale couldn’t swallow human. The little girl disagreed. The teacher repeated his opinion. The little girl then said: “When I’m heaven, I’ll ask Jonah about that.” The teacher replied: “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl said: “Then you ask him.”
If you’ve enjoyed these funny hell jokes, you’ll also enjoy these religious jokes, so please check ’em out right now.
5 Demon Puns
Did you hear about the demon who threw some shoes in the hellfire? He wanted to watch their soles burn.
My local priest said he couldn’t make it to dinner. He was busy exorcising our neighbors’ demons. That’s really nice of him. It’s important that her demons stay healthy.
I threw holy water at the demon and tried to banish it back to hell. My wife was furious and told me not to treat her mother like that.
Why are demons fat? Because they hate exorcising.
How does a demon stay fit? He exorcises.
If you like these demon puns, please continue reading this page because there’s more hilarious stuff below.
One Of The Best Satan Jokes From Russian Hell
A Russian man dies. He’s sent to hell. There he finds that there’s a different hell for each country.
First, he goes to the entrance of German Hell. Before entering it, her asks: “What’s happening in there?” The demon replies: “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.”
The Russian man doesn’t like what he heard. So he visits USA Hell, Switzerland Hell, and other countries’ hells. He discovers that all of them are about the same as the German Hell.
Then he comes to the Russian Hell and finds that there’s a very long line of people waiting to get in. He asks the demon at its entrance: “What’s happening in there?” The demon replies: “First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Russian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.” The Russian then asks: “Why are there so many people waiting to get in?”
The demon replies: “The maintenance is so horrible that the electric chair doesn’t work. And if it works, there’s usually no electricity to run it. Also, the demon who’s supposed to torture everyone is a former government servant, so he comes in, signs the register, and then goes to the cafeteria.”
If you like this Satan joke, I think you’ll also like these hilarious Russian jokes.
Satan Jokes About Landlord
A property manager for an apartment complex dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him “You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding.” So he chooses to check out hell first.
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody’s doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He’s bored in about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the apartment manager, “I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision.” The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, “Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I’ve decided that I want to go to hell”. So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.
When he gets there, he sees Satan whipping people and there’s fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says “Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?”
Satan looks at him and says: “You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you’re just another resident.”
Jesus Saves Joke
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused, did spreadsheets, wrote reports, sent emails, and did some genealogy reports. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!” Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?” God shrugged and said: “Jesus saves.”
Satan Jokes About Pastor
This pastor had a grumpy member named Bob who always sat with his arms crossed and never said a word to the preacher. One Sunday when it was time for the sermon, the stage filled with smoke and the pastor stepped out dressed as Satan. Everyone ran except Bob. The pastor (dressed as Satan) walked up to Bob. Pastor: “Sir, don’t you know who I am?” Bob: “Yes sir, I do.” Pastor: “Aren’t you afraid of me?” Bob: “No”. Pastor: “Why not?” Bob: “Because I’ve been married to your sister for forty years.”
Wife Dressed As The Devil
A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m the Devil!” she responded. “Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister.”
Christian Lady Who Lived Next Door To An Atheist
There was a Christian lady who lived next door to an atheist. Every day, when the lady prayed, the atheist guy could hear her. He thought to himself, “She sure is crazy, praying all the time like that. Doesn’t she know there isn’t God?”
Many times while she was praying, he would go to her house and harass her, saying “Lady, why do you pray all the time? Don’t you know there is no God?” But she kept on praying.
One day, she ran out of groceries. As usual, she was praying to the Lord explaining her situation and thanking Him for what He was gonna do. As usual, the atheist heard her praying and thought to himself, “Humph! I’ll fix her.”
He went to the grocery store, bought a whole bunch of groceries, took them to her house, dropped them off on the front porch, rang the door bell and then hid in the bushes to see what she would do.
When she opened the door and saw the groceries, she began to praise the Lord with all her heart, jumping, singing and shouting everywhere! The atheist then jumped out of the bushes and told her, “You ol’ crazy lady, God didn’t buy you those groceries, I bought those groceries!” At hearing this, she broke out and started running down the street, shouting and praising the Lord.
When he finally caught her, he asked what her problem was. She said, “I knew the Lord would provide me with some groceries, but I didn’t know he was gonna make the devil pay for them!”
Satan Jokes About Engineer In Hell
An engineer died and reported to the pearly gates. A newly anointed angel, filling in for St. Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, “Ah, you’re an engineer; you’re in the wrong place.”
So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.
One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer: “So how is it going down there in hell?”
Satan laughed and replied: “Things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”
God’s face clouded over and he exploded: “What? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake; he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”
Satan shook his head, then said: “No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”
God was as mad as he had ever been, so he said: “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”
Satan laughed uproariously and said: “Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”
Phone Call From Hell
Three men want to make phone call from Hell to remind their relatives about its harsh conditions. Their nationalities are American, Italian, and Iraqi.
They decide to go to the Devil who is the boss. American made a call and the Devil made him pay 100 dollars. Italian made a call and the Devil made him pay 100 Euros.
Lastly, an Iraqi made a call and the Devil made him pay one cent. Both the American and Italian complain that it is not fair. The devil responds: “The Iraqi call was a local call whereas your calls were international calls”.
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