Check out this hilarious collection of Mother-In-Law Jokes. They are the best Internet has to offer.
The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my mother-in-law. That clock was always slow.
Man took his dog to the vet and asked to cut off its tail. “Why do you want to do that?” asked the vet. “Because my mother-in-law is arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
A patient says, “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my MIL, and I wanted to say, “Could you please pass the butter?” “But instead I said, “You silly horse, you have completely ruined my life.”
Featured Funny Video: Mother-In-Law Song
Out of ideas as to what get his mother-in-law for her birthday, a man decided that an original present would be to buy her a piece of land in an exclusive cemetery. The following year he didn’t buy her anything, prompting her to complain bitterly. “Listen,” he said. “You still haven’t used the present I got you last year.”
Man told his neighbor: “I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law.” “Oh,” said the neighbor. “Did you have it put to sleep?” “No, I had its teeth sharpened.”
I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, “wow, how did you do that." I would tell you", answered the magician predictably, “but then I’d have to kill you." After a moments pause the same voice screamed out “can you tell my mother in law?"
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars.” The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my money?” The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.” The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?”
Wife: “You hate my relatives! Husband: “No, I don’t! In fact, I like your mother-in-law more than I like mine.”
Having missed the last bus, a teenage girl was forced to stay at her friend’s house overnight. Knowing that her mother would be worried, she called home first thing in the morning. The words came out in a breathless torrent, so it was hard to understand what she was saying. “Mom, it’s Angela. I’m fine. I knew you’d be worried, but I didn’t get a chance to call you last night.” By now, the woman on the other end of the phone realized that the caller got a wrong number, so she said: “I’m sorry. I don’t have a daughter named Angela.” A teenage girl, in tears, replied: “Please don’t be so mad at me mom!”
Reading letter at the breakfast table, a wife suddenly looked at her husband with suspicion. “Jorge, I’ve just received a letter from mother saying she isn’t accepting our invitation to stay with us, because we appear not to want her. I told you to write her that she was to come at her own convenience. Did you write that?” “Yes,” said the husband. “But I couldn’t spell ‘convenience’, so I changed it to ‘risk’ .”
Office clerk: “Sir, can I have a day off my workplace next week to visit my mother-in-law?” Boss: “Certainly not!” Office Clerk: “Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be very understanding.”
Lawyer called his client who was overseas: “Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming, or cremation?” The reply was: “Take no chances – order all three.”