Horse Jokes: 10

Horse Meat Scandal Simpsons Knew About

Check out these Horse Jokes we have found for you. They are the best Internet has to offer. You will laugh.

1. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?”

2. Q: What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse? A: Use the Pony Express.

3. Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? A: She always said Neigh.

4. Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? A: With Southern Horspitality.

5. The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a horse walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the horse’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the horse. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

6. You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!

7. A man needed a horse, so he went to a temple and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God,” and for it to stop you say, “Amen.” So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his horse. Hours later, he woke up and his horse was racing him towards the edge of a cliff. Just in time, he shouted “Amen!” and the horse stopped a few inches from the edge. “Whew,” said the man, “thank God!”

8. You know the little camel on the pack of cigarettes? They just found out that’s not even a camel. It’s actually a horse with a big, old tumor growing out of its mouth. Comedian Arj Barker said this joke.

9. A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a horse sitting next to him. “Are you a horse?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The horse replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

10. Q: A cowboy left Montana to go to Texas on Friday and came back on Friday. How did he do it? A: He named his horse Friday.

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Roman Marshanski

Roman Marshanski

This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on Google+ or Pinterest for more awesome content.
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