This Is Why I Am Pissed At Religious Politicians
This is a funny article about the hypocrisy of religious politicians submitted to our site by Sarah Maddison.
Last week, a Christ-like preacher came to our college campus. He was very humble with his views, so much so that he called one student’s shorts ‘unclean and unholy’, then proceeded to talk about the dangers of pornography.
That priest said that porn can be damaging to one’s relationship with God. I’ll tell you what’s damaging to your relationship with God: bullshit speeches like the one he gave. God wouldn’t stand for nonsense. He wants to hear and see something constructive, not pointless criticism of something that people will always do.
While listening to his bullshit, I wanted to tell him off. If I could, that’s what I would’ve said: ‘Listen man, God’s a pretty busy guy. He has to meet people at the gates of Heaven, listen to prayers from his children who don’t even know what they want, and meet with Jesus on a regular basis to discuss Heaven’s infrastructure problems, not to mention plumbing problems in the Heaven’s restroom. That’s on top of bullshit prayers he hears from religious people.’
Check out some Really Funny Religious Jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
After witnessing this Team-No-Fap member spouting his aged views on the campus mall, it suddenly dawned on me that there are politicians who believe in the same religious bullshit. For example, GOP candidate Mike Huckabee believes that Beyonce should keep her stage dance moves “in the privacy of her own bedroom” (apparently because he knows that he will never be able to put a move on her).
Another example of major politician who believes in the same religious bullshit is Former Secretary James Watt. He said that we don’t need to worry about the environment because the “Second Coming” is at hand. However, remember that there has never been a president of the U.S that has claimed any other religion than Christianity.
Check out some Funny Presidential Jokes that will make you laugh
So I understand that we, as a nation, have been Christians from the very beginning. I also have no problem with any religion. All I ask is that any religious person reading this respects my views, as I’ll (most likely make jokes, but) respect yours. You can believe that Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus, and I can believe that Jesus claimed to be God’s son so that he could roll in plentiful amounts of Israeli ass. Kapeesh?
My true problem with Christian conservatives in government is that they write and sign bills that were devised from The Holy Book itself. When politicians do that, they are completely ignoring the whole “separation of church and state” deal that the Founding Fathers came up with 200 years ago. You’d think that this would be illegal, but they apparently don’t think so. Oh, by the way, if you don’t believe me, read what Thomas Jefferson had to to say:
Our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions any more than our opinions in physics or geometry.
If that quote from Thomas Jefferson is not enough for you, here is another one with his picture:
In other words, Thomas Jefferson would be disgusted by today’s politicians because the laws that they wish to force upon American citizens are offensive to many members of different religions, such as required Christian prayer during school hours. But religion is not the only constitutional violation practiced by these religious bigots.
Many of today’s conservative politicians also discriminate against the LGBT community by blocking their rights. They also disregard basic science on many issues, such as global warming and abstinence only education.
Check out some Funny Political Jokes that make fun of retarded politicians
In my opinion, the main problem with them is that they are super hypocritical. Remember how Herman Cain was all gung-ho for “family values”, then everyone found out that he s**ually abused three women?
John Boehner, on the other hand, had an affair with a press secretary.
Rush Limbaugh, a conservative radio host who is in love with the so-called “War On Drugs”, checked into rehab for a prescription pill addiction.
My personal favorite, Josh Duggar, rallied against porn, making it look like a crime against humanity. It was later revealed that he molested FIVE of his sisters, cheated on his wife, had s** with two prostitutes, and had a porn addiction. He also comes from my favorite guilty pleasure family, the Duggars. They have 19 kids because they believe in following the bible to a T. They’re from Arkansas, hate anyone that’s LGBT, and believe that birth control pills can kill a fetus even though they can’t.
How can these people be so anti-everything when they’ve committed sins worse than the ones they are trying to protect Americans from? I think it’s because they’re human.
Not only these politicians see their laws as righteous, they also want the people of the United States to re-evaluate their views on everything from s** to marriage. Secretly, they may see this as an opportunity to atone for their own sins, by doing what they see as God’s work.
But the government envisioned by our Founding Fathers has no foundation in religion. The government, as envisioned by our Founding Fathers, is a government of the people, by the people, for the people, not a government for the religious beliefs of far right.
“How do we fight back against these religious bigots sitting in Congress?” You may ask. Well, the answer is simple. Voting, as envisioned by our Founding Fathers, should help us restore the democratic ideals on which this nation was built. So go vote, my friend. You may as well change something, though some religious people will still be like this crybaby:
Check out more awesome articles you will enjoy:
1. April Fools Prank Story That Will Make You Laugh
2. 6 Steps You Need To Take To Survive Your Cat
3. Scared Little Father Vs. Doctor
4. 3 Signs That Kanye West Is Bipolar
5. This Is What Happened When I Took A Nap In A Church
6. This Is How My Best Friend Ended Up In Jail After Night In A Bar