35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know
These are the best funny drinking toasts for friends you’ll find. They’re perfect for any party. So what are you waiting for? Check ’em out now.
- To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there.
- Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears.
- Here’s to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell.
- A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl’s ass are home, sweet home to me.
- Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic.
- Here’s to staying positive and testing negative.
- May we be who our dogs think we are.
- Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
- Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.
- Here’s to stealing, cheating and lying: may you steal someone’s heart, cheat death, and lie with your love.
- I used to know a clever toast. But now I cannot think it. So fill your glass to anything. And damn your souls, I’ll drink it.
If you like these toasts, then please do use them when toasting with friends and share them now.
Table Of Contents
- 9 Funny And Wise Irish Drinking Toasts For Birthdays And All Other Occasions
- 5 Amusing And Funny Scottish Drinking Toasts
- 5 Awesome College Drinking Toasts
- 3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know
- 1) Here’s one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw.
- 2) Here’s a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast.
- 3) Here’s an insightful and profound yet witty quote toast.
- Movie Toasts Video
- What's your favorite funny drinking toast?
9 Funny And Wise Irish Drinking Toasts For Birthdays And All Other Occasions
- When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
- May you die in bed at 95 years,
Shot by a jealous wife.
- May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy
who says, ‘this drink’s on me.’
- May the saddest day of your future be no worse
Than the happiest day of your past.
- Always remember to forget
The things that made you sad.
But never forget to remember
The things that made you glad.
- May the lilt of Irish laughter
lighten every load.
May the mist of Irish magic
shorten every road.
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed.
- May the luck of the Irish
Lead to happiest heights
And the highway you travel
Be lined with green lights.
Wherever you go and whatever you do,
May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
- The test of Gold is Fire
The test of Truth is Time
The test of God’s love are the heavens above
and everything sublime.
Treasures in life are many,
dreams realized but few.
But I know the test of God’s goodness
is when he gave me a friend like you.
- Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
Here’s to each lad and his darlin’ colleen,
Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast.
If you’re amused by these Irish toasts, you’ll also be amused by these 11 funniest Irish jokes.
5 Amusing And Funny Scottish Drinking Toasts
These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts.
- To the three things necessary to the happiness of a Scotchman – First, the sneeshin’ (snuff), second the whiskey, third, more whiskey.
- The sweets of life – mirth, music, love, and wine.
- May love and whiskey both
Rejoice an honest fellow,
May the unripe joys of life
Love and whiskey mellow.
- Drink to-day, and drown all sorrow;
You shall perhaps not do’t tomorrow.
- We meet to be merry, then let us part wise.
Nor suffer the bottle to blind reason’s eyes.
If you like what you read above, you’ll also like these 20 really funny Scottish jokes.
5 Awesome College Drinking Toasts
- Here’s to the woman who wears the red shoes. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. She’s lost her cherry but it doesn’t mean a thing, ’cause she’s still got the box that the cherry came in.
- I drank to your health in company. I drank to your health alone. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own.
- Here’s to the women who love me terribly,
May they soon improve.
- Champagne costs too much,
Whiskey’s too rough,
Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
This little refrain
Should help to explain
Why it’s better to order a beer.
- Here’s to woman! Would that we could fall
into her arms without falling into her hands.
Enjoyed reading these college drinking toasts for friends? Then you’ll also enjoy reading these funny friendship quotes.
3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know
These pictures below have the toasts that your friends and family members will sure find witty. So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner.
1) Here’s one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw.
If you like this quote, you’ll also like these other George Bernard Shaw quotes.
2) Here’s a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast.
3) Here’s an insightful and profound yet witty quote toast.
If you like what you read, you’ll also like these Thanksgiving jokes.