35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know

These are the best funny drinking toasts for friends you’ll find. They’re perfect for any party. So what are you waiting for? Check ’em out now.

  1. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there.
  2. Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears.
  3. Here’s to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell.
  4. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. But a whiskey glass and a fat girl’s ass are home, sweet home to me.
  5. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic.
  6. Here’s to staying positive and testing negative.
  7. May we be who our dogs think we are.
  8. Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
  9. Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap.
  10. Here’s to stealing, cheating and lying: may you steal someone’s heart, cheat death, and lie with your love.
  11. I used to know a clever toast. But now I cannot think it. So fill your glass to anything. And damn your souls, I’ll drink it.

If you like these toasts, then please do use them when toasting with friends and share them now.

Friends Toasting With Champagne Glasses
May you be rich enough to toast with the best champagne.

9 Funny And Wise Irish Drinking Toasts For Birthdays And All Other Occasions

Irish Drinking Toast About Heaven
Please share this Irish toast on Pinterest if you like it.
  1. When we drink, we get drunk.
    When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
    When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
    When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
    So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
  2. May you die in bed at 95 years,
    Shot by a jealous wife.
  3. May the winds of fortune sail you,
    May you sail a gentle sea.
    May it always be the other guy
    who says, ‘this drink’s on me.’
  4. May the saddest day of your future be no worse
    Than the happiest day of your past.
  5. Always remember to forget
    The things that made you sad.
    But never forget to remember
    The things that made you glad.
  6. May the lilt of Irish laughter
    lighten every load.
    May the mist of Irish magic
    shorten every road.
    And may all your friends remember
    all the favors you are owed.
  7. May the luck of the Irish
    Lead to happiest heights
    And the highway you travel
    Be lined with green lights.
    Wherever you go and whatever you do,
    May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
  8. The test of Gold is Fire
    The test of Truth is Time
    The test of God’s love are the heavens above
    and everything sublime.
    Treasures in life are many,
    dreams realized but few.
    But I know the test of God’s goodness
    is when he gave me a friend like you.
  9. Here’s to the land of the shamrock so green,
    Here’s to each lad and his darlin’ colleen,
    Here’s to the ones we love dearest and most.
    May God bless old Ireland, that’s this Irishman’s toast.

If you’re amused by these Irish toasts, you’ll also be amused by these 11 funniest Irish jokes.

5 Amusing And Funny Scottish Drinking Toasts

These are some handpicked toasts from the book by Ivor Ben McIvor aptly named Scottish Toasts.

  1. To the three things necessary to the happiness of a Scotchman – First, the sneeshin’ (snuff), second the whiskey, third, more whiskey.
  2. The sweets of life – mirth, music, love, and wine.
  3. May love and whiskey both
    Rejoice an honest fellow,
    May the unripe joys of life
    Love and whiskey mellow.
  4. Drink to-day, and drown all sorrow;
    You shall perhaps not do’t tomorrow.
  5. We meet to be merry, then let us part wise.
    Nor suffer the bottle to blind reason’s eyes.

If you like what you read above, you’ll also like these 20 really funny Scottish jokes.

5 Awesome College Drinking Toasts

  1. Here’s to the woman who wears the red shoes. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. She’s lost her cherry but it doesn’t mean a thing, ’cause she’s still got the box that the cherry came in.
  2. I drank to your health in company. I drank to your health alone. I drank to your health so many times I nearly ruined my own.
  3. Here’s to the women who love me terribly,
    May they soon improve.
  4. Champagne costs too much,
    Whiskey’s too rough,
    Vodka puts big mouths in gear.
    This little refrain
    Should help to explain
    Why it’s better to order a beer.
  5. Here’s to woman! Would that we could fall
    into her arms without falling into her hands.

Enjoyed reading these college drinking toasts for friends? Then you’ll also enjoy reading these funny friendship quotes.

3 Best Funny Thanksgiving Toasts Quotes You Need To Know

These pictures below have the toasts that your friends and family members will sure find witty. So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner.

1) Here’s one of those classic toasts from George Bernard Shaw.

Funny Thanksgiving Toast Quote By George Bernard Shaw
This toast is actually a quote from his book Man and Superman.

If you like this quote, you’ll also like these other George Bernard Shaw quotes.

2) Here’s a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast.

Funny Thanksgiving Toast Quote By Mitch Hedberg
If you like this toast quote, please share it on Pinterest now.

3) Here’s an insightful and profound yet witty quote toast.

Funny Thanksgiving Toast Quote By Carl Sagan
This toast is a quote from Carl Sagan’s book Cosmos. If you like it, please share it.

If you like what you read, you’ll also like these Thanksgiving jokes.

Movie Toasts Video

Check out some toasts from famous movies. Watch this video now.
Funny Drinking Toast About Happiness
And may you stay forever young.

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Related Links

  1. Mandatory
  2. Reddit
  3. Foodbeast
  4. The Spruce Eats
  5. Electric Scotland
  6. Reader’s Digest

 

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