Vegetable Jokes & Puns: 35 Best

Check out my collection of funny vegetable jokes right now. I’m sure they’ll make you laugh.

Some of the vegetable puns on this page are from Reddit. Meanwhile, others dropped on this page accidentally. The plants hit me with them on the head to avenge their eaten friends. They wanted to be more than just my food. They wanted to love me. But I rejected their vegetable love and made some funny plant jokes. Now the potted plants won’t talk to me when I pass them by, or maybe I finally stopped being crazy.

Either way, this page is filled with jokes about vegetables that are perfect both for kids and adults. Some of them are rude and some of them are naughty, but none of them are dirty. All of these jokes are clean and awesome. Plus, there’s bonus content that’s both awesome and hilarious. In short, you’ve come to the right place for vegetable humor, mister human. Vegetables have never been funnier than here on Humoropedia.com.

The Editor’s Favorite Vegetable Joke

The cannibals caught a missionary, tied him up, and threw him into a big pot. Then they chopped up the vegetables and threw them into the big pot. When they lit the fire under the big pot, the missionary exclaimed: “You shouldn’t stew me! I’m a friar! You should fry me!”

11 Funny Vegetable Puns

Vegetable Bowls
These vegetable bowls will look good on your Pinterest boards.

I’m sure you’re gonna like these cute vegetable puns because they’re simply the best you’ll find.

  1. What was the cause of the veggie protest? An information leek.
  2. Why do fungi have to pay extra on the bus? Because they take up too mushroom.
  3. What did the organic vegetables die of? Natural causes.
  4. Why did the corn stalk get angry with the farmer? He kept pulling her ears. If you like this vegetable pun, you’ll also like these really funny corny jokes.
  5. Which vegetable is best at kung fu? Brock Lee.
  6. Why does everyone love the vegetable band? They always play a good beet.
  7. How did the gardener mend his jeans? With a vegetable patch. If you think this pun is funny, you’ll also enjoy these awesome garden puns.
  8. Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? Because it’s full of ears.
  9. What’s a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
  10. What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable? Squash.
  11. What do vegetables want more than anything in the world? Peas on earth.
Funny Vegetable Pun About Peas

Do you like those funny vegetable puns you’ve read? Then you’ll also like these awesome herb puns.

Vegetable Garden Video

Please watch this funny video right now because what happened next is heartwarming.

11 Funny Vegetable Jokes

  1. What did the vegetables say to the sandwich? Lettuce all smile.
  2. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? It all smells like carrots to me.
  3. What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch? Picking his nose. If you like this vegetable joke, you’ll also like these snowman jokes.
  4. What do you call beans that have been in the sun too long? Baked beans.
  5. What do you get when you put the right amount of meat and vegetables on a scale? A balanced meal.
  6. Why is lettuce the kindest vegetable? Because it’s got heart.
  7. What do you call a vegetable that fights a lot? Carrot-te.
  8. Why was the DJ a hit at vegetable parties? She dropped good beets.
  9. What vegetable do chickens grow? Eggplants. If you like this joke, please check out these chicken jokes now because you’re gonna like them too.
  10. What kind of flower shouldn’t be put in a vase? Cauliflower.
  11. What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out walking? Ketchup.
Funny Vegetable Joke About Tomatoes
If you like this joke picture, please share it to Pinterest now.

If you like these funny vegetable jokes, please continue reading this page because there’s more hilarious stuff below.

11 Vegetable One Liners

  1. Where did the cucumbers go on their date? The salad bar.
  2. Why did the cucumber get angry? Because it was in a pickle.
  3. What does a skeleton use for archery? A bone and marrow.
  4. Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans? Because it has a marrow waistline.
  5. What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
  6. How do you cheer up a baked potato? You butter her up.
  7. What does cabbage say at the salad bar? Lettuce pray.
  8. What kind of socks do you need to plant cabbage? Garden hose.
  9. What did the carrot say to the gardener at the country fair? I’m rooting for you. I’m certain the others won’t beet you.
  10. What should you do if you drop a root vegetable face down? Turnip over.
  11. My friend asked me if I knew anything about growing root vegetables. I told him I know of a neighbor who grows them but haven’t dug deeper.
Vegetables And Fruits In A Store
Spice up your Pinterest boards with these vegetables and fruits. Please share this pic now.

If you’ve enjoyed those vegetable one liners above, you’ll also enjoy these hilarious Christmas one liners.

5 Knock Knock Vegetable Jokes

These veggie jokes are the perfect jokes for kids. I’m sure at least one of them will enter your kids’ favorites collection. And if you don’t have kids, I think you’ll like them too.

  1. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Peas. Peas who? Oh, peas to meet you.
  2. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Turnip. Turnip who? Please turnip the volume, that’s my favorite song.
  3. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Oh, bean a while since we met.
  4. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Potato. Potato who? Potatoes don’t have last names.
  5. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Vegetable. What vegetable? Not the table with a veggie on top.

5 Best Vegetable Puns From Reddit

  1. I got a flat tire on a road trip, looked at my wife, and said: “Should’ve brought asparagus.”
  2. Hope you find some peas of mind.
  3. Results romaine to be seen.
  4. It was bound to turnip sometime.
  5. Looks like the other guys beet me to it.

5 Good Vegetable Jokes By RM

Maybe some will say these are corny vegetable jokes, but I think they’re pretty good. You be the judge.

  1. Vegetable tried to get a job as a table in a nightclub. The nightclub owner told him he’s too soft.
  2. Vegetable got jealous of a table because he got tired of being eaten again and again.
  3. Vegetable and table got into a fight. Not much happened. They just stared at each other because neither could do anything.
  4. Why did the fruit refuse to marry a vegetable? She thought they were related.
  5. Why did the fruit get into an argument with a vegetable? It was just a dispute in the food family.

I, Roman Marshanski, wrote these five jokes. If you like them, please follow me on Twitter for more fun stuff. Also, if you like the vegetable jokes you’ve read on this page, please share this page on social media now because that will help me continue running this site. Thank you in advance.

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Related Links

  1. Kidadl
  2. FoodJokes.one
  3. Reader’s Digest
  4. Reddit
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