How Turtle Put The Man In Jail


Ever thought of eating a turtle? Think again. You may go to jail for doing so.

I am not talking about a turtle that you would find in a gourmet restaurant. I am talking about a turtle that you would find on the streets.

“I see turtles on the street every day” – you may think, smiling with sarcasm. Well, turns out there are cities in the world where you can see turtles on the street. Even more surprisingly, those turtles aren’t even the people dressing up as Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Some of these turtles that people see (and one of which caused a man to go to jail) are endangered species. Eating them is against the law.

Bragging about eating them is retarded, especially when you go to a local newspaper and tell them to publish a story about you. It’s like robbing a bank and then telling everyone on Facebook that you did it.

After the man in Longview, Texas, did that, he went to jail. Or if you don’t believe us, here is how KTLV have reported it (they have even fewer reasons than us to be truthful though):

A Longview man has been arrested for possession of a threatened species. Longview Police said Timothy Anderson, 36, was issued a warrant by the Gregg County Game Warden in April 2013 for possessing an Alligator Snapping Turtle. Officials said failure to pay that fine resulted in his arrest Monday night.

Is his confinenment to jail justified? Let us know in comments. We would love to hear from you and likely to respond, unless we get lazy.

But this is not the end of the article. We’d like to speculate what the turtle said before it got eaten.

Perhaps it screamed: “Don’t eat me! I’m in danger. I’m endangered species.”

The man replied: “Don’t worry about it, turtle. I will put you out of misery. I will eat you.”

The police apparently didn’t think putting turtle out of misery by eating it was a good idea. They apparently thought that he should’ve just left it alone. Or they were a little angry because their donuts sucked. Or in the most likely possibility, they didn’t think anything at all.

Regardless of anything you, we, or anyone else has to say, these cops turned out to be the real boys in blue. They avenged the eaten turtle. The turtle’s spirit must be feeling eternally grateful.

Want More Funny Stuff About Animals?

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Roman Marshanski
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