Obama’s Secret Strategy for ISIS REVEALED

Obama's Secret Strategy Is Funny

Obama has been getting a lot of criticism for his handling of ISIS. Jimmy Dore Show have done an especially good job parodying his remarks. Maybe that’s why he has finally come up with something far more effective.

But please read our disclaimer before getting acquainted with Obama’s new, totally secret strategy:

Beware! The information you are about to read is highly confidential. It has been acquired from sources close to Obama who wish to remain confidential. They wish to stress that they are not the rich guys who got pissed because of his annoying fundraising, nor are they the guys Obama has cuckolded.

Obama’s secret strategy for dealing with ISIS can be summed up in these four words: “Make a very bad movie”.

The first word means “make”, the second “very”, and so on… it is quite uninspiring. But Obama has managed to give these words an even less inspiring meaning. He wants to make a remake of Rambo, in the worst traditions of Hollywood.

The secret tapes (released by guys Obama has cuckolded) reveal that Obama is so disappointed in his military advisers that he thinks of employing either George Bush or Action Movie Stars.

An attempt to employ George Bush has not worked out, however. George Bush has refused Obama’s offer of employment. He cited his previous success in the foreign policy as the cause. He said: “I’m kinda scared these Turkish rebels ISIS would tarnish my glorious legacy”.

Hollywood people, however, were far more receptive to Obama’s offer of employment. Especially enthusiastic was Sylvester Stallone.

In a private conversation with Stallone (which NSA, CIA, Secret Service, Russia’s Federal Security Service, and Germany’s Federal Intelligence Service have secretly recorded), Obama has admitted he thinks “Stallone’s movie Rambo is a perfect example of how to deal with terrorists”. So he would employ Sylvester Stallone to write a script for how to fight the ISIS.

Stallone has written most of his movies, at least the ones that became hits – such as the original Rambo and Rocky – so he must be hyped to write a movie that will become a blueprint for national foreign policy.

Obama has said that the more special effects Stallone’s script has, the more money he is willing to share with him, because then the military contractors would get more money and so he would get more donations for his liberal causes.

This article has been inspired by Jimmy Dore Show. You will soon be able to download the episode that inspired it at his site.


Related: Funny Political Jokes

Roman Marshanski
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