That’s Unbelievable How Justin Bieber Caused The Death Of Monkey


Have you ever wondered what was the dumbest study ever? Now you may have an answer. This is the first time ever someone other than horny teenage girl has studied Justin Bieber.

This time some of the world’s most esteemed scientists have decided to study his music. They apparently have never heard it before, so they were not terrified of having to listen to it.

We all know how annoying Bieber is.

So annoying that North Korea have offered him a post of minister of culture. You have to be a real a**hole to get any offer from them.

Now scientists have measured exactly how much of an a**hole he is. They did it by studying an effect of his music on various animals. Here are the results of it, as reported by Science Mayhem Journal:

Elephant has not only destroyed the audio equipment from which Bieber’s music came, but also peed on Bieber’s picture.

– To prevent other animals from destroying audio equipment, scientists have confined them to cells [that makes me feel sad for the animals]. However, some animals still found ways to escape the terrible sounds:

Giraffe hid its head in the sand.

Dolphins have beaten the World Record for loudest dolphin sound ever made.

– Monkey, on the other hand, could not stand it at all. It committed a suicide. Now he doesn’t even have to drive. His music does it.

If monkeys could write, that monkey would have left the following note:

“Make sure your kids never have to listen to this atrocity, or they may end up like me. Please protect your kids from the harmful influence of Justin Bieber. I beg you.”

That monkey should have been in the White House, in the place of Barack Obama. Then it may have had signed the petition to deport Just Bieber and you wouldn’t have to hear about him that often. But no monkey would accept a government job. They are way too smart for that.

Related: Funny Retard Jokes (still not as retarded as Justin Bieber)

Roman Marshanski
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