Republicans Tell The Poor Americans To Drop Dead


‘Drop dead. Robots will replace you’ Republicans tell the poor Americans loud and clear.

You may have heard of Republicans’ opposition to Obamacare. What you haven’t heard of is, their new slogan: “Drop dead after you get sick. We won’t pay your medical bills”.

This slogan has become a popular catchphrase among all Republican senators, governors, and Congressmen. They say that paying the bills of poor population is the worst indignity ever. So they are not going to put up with it.

Indeed, the Republicans are not going to put up with paying somebody’s else bills. They would rather have those people drop dead.

Texas Governor Rick Perry, for example, has said:

“I’m the governor of Texas, the state of oilmen. So I’m not supposed to heed to the needs of poor and weak. I’m supposed to heed to the interests of rich and powerful. Screw the poor.”

Apparently, the poor want him screwed just as much as he wants them screwed. In the next year, thousands of people will die in Texas because he refused federal grants that would have provided healthcare to poorest Texans.

That’s how Rick Perry has commented on his decision to refuse government funds and thereby put the poor into even more perilous position:

“What do I care about the poor? They haven’t helped me get elected.”

When reminded that the people who voted for him are not billionaires controlling oil reserves, Rick Perry responded with these words:

“So what? There are lots of fools in the world. Some of them vote for unprincipled bastards like me. By the way, did you notice how honest I am? I have no problem calling myself ‘unprincipled bastard’. That’s because I am.”

Barack Obama has as usually said that his “hands are tied”. Then he added:

“My hands are tied not because I’m doing some important government work. My hands are tied because I and Michele are playing a sex game. Please excuse us while we finish playing it.

Don’t worry about the people though. Most of them are supposed to die because of poverty and things like that. CIA is supposed to help them die as quickly as possible. Hell, we even have NSA, FBI, and Secret Service, not to mention the military. What a better way to kill off your population?

Sorry, no time to talk. I and Michelle gotta go finish playing that sex game. It’s pretty awesome. That’s why I’m the most awesome president of the United States. Maybe that sex game I’m playing is the reason they gave me a Nobel Peace Prize. So long. Chao.”

Fox News have been unusually enthusiastic both about Obama’s speech and the Republicans’ brave, new stance. They reported them with the following words:

Republicans Heroically Tell Poor Americans To Drop Dead Whenever They Get Sick. Once Again, Republicans Are Doing A Good Job. Let’s Congratulate Them On Their Efforts To Save The Nation.”

As far as Obama is concerned, they reported his speech with the following title:

“Obama’s sex game is expected to generate revenue.”

Not sure how this is even possible. But you know Fox News. They are so bad they are even funny, pretty much like the movie Twilight.


Want More Political Humor?
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Roman Marshanski
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