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NFL Demands More Subsidies, Less Education | We Agree

NFL owners are not happy with United States’ education system. They also are not happy with the way subsidies are distributed. Neither are they happy with the enormous amount of money they are getting.

You may have heard that NFL is a tax exempt entity. That’s not because of their charitable contributions, however. That’s because of something else, as reported by ESPN:

“Before you start comparing the NFL to the American Red Cross, it’s important to know how and why the NFL is a tax-exempt organization. According to league spokesman Brian McCarthy, the NFL is organized as a trade or industry association that is exempt from taxation under Section 501(c)(6) of the Internal Revenue Code, not Section 501(c)(3), which exempts charitable organizations. In no way is the NFL claiming to be a charity.

Instead, Section 501(c)(6) exempts from taxation ‘business leagues, chambers of commerce, real estate boards, boards of trade, or professional football leagues (whether or not administering a pension fund for football players), not organized for profit … .’

Jeffrey Tenenbaum, a Washington D.C. attorney who chairs the nonprofit organizations group at Venable LLP, says Section 501(c)(6) essentially exempts from taxation, ‘an organization whose primary purpose is to further the industry or profession it represents.'”

In other words, NFL owners don’t give a damn whether taxpayers’ money benefits them or not. Rather, they want more taxpayers’s money to help their players. That’s indeed a good cause to support, especially considering the extent to which they exploit their players. They must be exploiting them because they care about them. Makes sense.

Maybe that’s why the NFL owners have expressed this unhappiness. So we should sympathize with these rich bastards and help them feed their insatiable greed.

NFL owners’ unhappiness with subsidies and education can be easily understood. Their whole industry generates only $9.5 billion per year, hardly enough for a greedy person.

That’s why the NFL team owners have issued the following statement:

We, the NFL owners, demand more subsidies for our teams. We also demand that high school students be given less opportunities to go to college, especially if they are African American. That’s not because we are racist though. That’s because we believe in equal opporunity.

When asked to elaborate on “equal opportunity”, they replied:

For us, equal opportunity means that we get to exploit both whites and blacks equally.

They have certainly done a good job so far, though some conservative mainstream media have cited examples of reverse racism. It has nothing to do with their affiliation to racist advertisers though.

When asked to elaborate on their justification for less education, they replied:

Are you trying to say education is good for NFL? Clearly not. If people were more educated, they wouldn’t not watch these savage games we create. But savage is good.

NFL owners are planning to make their demands heard by spending additonal 10 million dollars on lobbying efforts. They are planning to hire the same nice people who made sure banks received all the bailout money they needed.

Though lots of economists have opposed NFL’s move, NFL team owners are claiming they want to help African Americans rise out of poverty into wealth and equality. They cited that every 1 in 500 high school football players ends up in NFL.

Fox News were very happy about this demand. They said they are happy to support any piece of legislation that can destroy this nation, apparently because they are funded by Saudis.

Lots of people were amazed that Fox News called this demand a piece of legislation. We are not surprised, however. We have long ago reported that Fox News Sucks. We have also provided data to back it up.

Fox News aside, NFL is likely to achieve it mission. That’s because they made a powerful threat. They threatened to move to China and hire only Chinese-born ball players. This seems to be patriotic, just like the vast majority of US-based billionaires are.

Roman Marshanski
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