29 Funny Nerd Jokes

Funny Nerd Jokes About Parallel Lines

Laugh at 29 really funny nerd jokes. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes for nerds.

In short, you’ve come to the right place. Nerd jokes for adults have never been funnier than here on Humoropedia.com. These jokes are perfect for smart kids too because they’ll understand them. Plus, this page has bonus nerdy humor content you’ll definitely like. So please continue reading this page and you’ll find awesomeness.

5 Best Nerd Jokes

These are the best nerd one liners you’ll find. These funny one liner jokes are awesome. Please share this page to your favorite social media site if you like them. Thanks in advance.

  1. A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Oh Bunsen, my flame,” the sodium swooned. “I melt whenever I see you!” The Bunsen burner replied: “Calm down. It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
  2. What’s polite and works for the phone company? A deferential operator. If you like this nerd joke, you’ll also like these calculus jokes.
  3. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
  4. Why was the function so bent out of shape? Its regression model was too tight a fit.
  5. What did argon do when copper insulted Him? Argon had no reaction.
  6. Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower? Because the bottle said: “lather, rinse, repeat.”
  7. I have a new theory on inertia. But it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Best Nerd Jokes About Atom
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If you like these, in my opinion, best nerd jokes, you’ll also like these awesome grammar jokes and puns.

Video With Some Nerdy Jokes

That’s the bonus nerdy humor content I mentioned in the introduction. I’m sure you’re gonna like this video because it’s funny. So please watch it right now because you’re gonna like it.

6 Helium In A Bar

Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” The helium doesn’t react.

7 Two Talking Atoms

Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:

“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m positive.”

8 Nerdy Joke About Time Travel

A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:

“What do we want?”

Time travel

“When do we want it?”


9 Question Only A Nerd Can Answer

There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.

10 Descartes In A Bar

Rene Descartes Portrait

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. Descartes says “I think not” and disappears.

11 Microsoft Engineers Change A Light Bulb

How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just change the standard to darkness.

12 Karl Marx And The Tea He Disliked

Karl Marx Sitting In A Chair

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.

13 This Is What You Didn’t Know About Protons

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

14 Funny Nerd Joke About Sick Chemist

Have you heard about the sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium.

15 This Is What Nerd Thinks About The Moon

How do you know the moon is going broke? It’s down to its last quarter.

Funny Nerd Jokes About Darth Vader

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16 Three Logicians In A Bar

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”

The first logician says, “I don’t know.”

The second logician says, “I don’t know.”

The third logician says, “Yes.”

17 Neutron In A Bar

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies: “For you, no charge”.

18 Educated Tube

What do you call an educated tube? A graduated cylinder.

19 Three Great Men Play Hide And Seek

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10, then opens them.

Pascal is nowhere to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says: “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve found you!”

Newton says: “No no, Einy. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. You’ve found Pascal!”

20 The Name Any Nerd Should Know

Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

Please continue reading this page because there are more nerd one liners below.

21 Mathematicians In A Bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first asks for a beer. The second asks for half a beer. The third asks for a quarter beer. The fourth begins to order an eighth of a beer but the bartender cuts him off:

“You’re all idiots.”

He pours two beers and goes to help other customers.

22 Roman In A Bar

Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

“Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one.”

23 Nerd About Inertia

I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

24 Theoretical Physicists Change A Light Bulb

How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb? Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe.

25 Computer Nerd Jokes About Software Engineer

A wife asks her husband, who is a software engineer: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy 1 carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get 6!”

The husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him: “Why the heck did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”

He replies: “They had eggs.”

26 Science Nerd Jokes About Helium

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe.

27 Java Programmers Joke

Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don’t C#.

28 Joke About Sodium

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na.

29 One Of The Best Nerd Pick Up Lines

Funny Nerd Jokes About Copper And Tellurium

Here’s another pick up line: I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

If you like these nerd pick up lines, I think you’ll also like these 60 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines And Icebreakers.

Small Request

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Want More Funny Jokes?

Check out some awesome accounting jokes or funny math jokes. You may also enjoy some funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of really funny acronyms.

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