45+ Cow Puns & Jokes

These funny cow puns will definitely make you smile because they’re the best. So have some fun and experience their playful humor right now.

This page has a lot more than just short puns. It also features other types of cow jokes, including cow pun words with bizarre explanations likely to surprise you, bro. Some of these jokes are corny. But the majority of these jokes about cows are totally awesome and clean, perfect both for kids and adults. Plus, this page has interesting bonus content you’ll enjoy.

Before I tell you the jokes and share with you bonus content, how about a few fun facts about cows? You probably know that adult cattle females are referred to as cows. But do you know the little-known facts?

Do you know that cows sleep only 3 – 4 hours a day in 6 – 10 short periods? And do you know that a cow can chew 50 times in one minute, making its jaws move about 40,000 times a day? Well, now you have an excuse to chew on something all day long because you can be in a chewing competition with a cow, bro.

Either way, you’ve come to the right place because these animals cows have never been funnier than here on Humoropedia.com.

Cow Puns

cow grazing during daytime

Enjoy this hilarious, cow related play on words and please share this page with your friends because witty humor is worth sharing.

  1. What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat? A coat.
  2. The president is always surrounded by the Secret Service with twelve cows since they’re trying to beef up his security.
  3. How does a cow become invisible? Through a ca-moo-flage.
  4. How do farmers count their cows? They use a cow-culator.
  5. What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian. If you like this cow pun, please share its picture version to Pinterest right now because your followers will love it.
cow pun related to the word comedian
  1. Sweden is not going to export any cattle since they like to keep the cattle in Stockholm.
  2. When you go through these cow pans, you’ll get a feeling which is referred to as deja-mooo.
  3. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.
  4. What do you call a feminine cow? A dairy queen.

If you like these funny cow puns, you’ll also like these awesome otter puns.

Cute Cow Puns

two brown cows grazing on a beautiful hilltop area
This photo with two brown cows will look good on one of your Pinterest boards.

These puns are filled with cuteness. They’re so cute you’ll be dizzy from their adorable cuteness. If you become dizzy from their cuteness, feel free to use them as your Instagram captions.

  1. What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf? Blue cheese.
  2. How did the cow get to Mars? It flew through udder space.
  3. What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
  4. What did the cow and bull do for their first date? Dinner and a moo-vie.
  5. What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A milk dud.

If you like the five puns you’ve just read, you’ll also like these awesome egg puns.

Moo Puns

These puns make fun of the fact that cows say “moo”. They’re pretty good though somewhat corny. You’ll also be glad to know that most of them are perfect for Instagram captions. I’m sure your followers will agree.

  1. Why do cows go to New York? To see the moo-sicals.
  2. For lunch, cows prefer consuming moo-shroom soup.
  3. Every single time the cow managed to escape, he was found by the farmer hiding in and around the Moo York City.
  4. What is an evening of self-care for a cow? Moo-vies, moo-sic, and mooisturizer.
  5. What do you call a cow that can part water? Moo-ses.

For more witty puns like these moo puns, please check out these very best elephant puns right now.

Cow Pun Words

cows grazing during a sunny day
If you like this photo with grazing cows, please share it to Pinterest right now because your followers will love it.

These are one word cow puns. But their explanations are way more than just one word.

  1. Cow-ordinator. He’s the guy who cow-ordinates instead of coordinating. You want him to be on your side when you want to sabotage your own project because you feel too successful.
  2. Cow-herently. That’s when things are so coherent you feel like a cow high on w**d.
  3. Cow-habitation. That’s when you want to kill your girlfriend but choose to co-habitate instead because you’re too nice to be a serial killer. May God forgive you for being too nice.
  4. Cow-existence. That’s when you’re so lazy when it comes to cleaning your own room you don’t notice the cows relieving themselves in your own room.
  5. Cow-conut. Some people have heads. Others have been been abducted by aliens and had their heads replaced with cow-conuts.

I hope you found the explanations of these cow pun words totally bizarre and absurd. I, Roman Marshanski, wrote these explanations. If you want more humorous stuff, please finish reading this page and follow me on Twitter at the link below.

Cow Birthday Puns

  1. I herd it’s your birth-hay.
  2. Happy birthday to moo.
  3. Holy cow. It’s your birthday.
  4. I want to be the first to greet you pasture birthday.
  5. All I want for my birthday is a sim-bull party with close family and friends.

For more punny hilarity, have a look at these giraffe puns and jokes.

Cow Jokes

brown cow standing on green grass
I think that your Pinterest followers will like this brown cow photo.

Like I said before, these are the perfect jokes for adults and kids. All family members will like them. Maybe some will say that a few of them are dumb, but I think that all of them are pretty funny. You be the judge, bro.

  1. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
  2. Teacher: “Kids, what does a chicken give you?” Students: “Eggs.” Teacher: “Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?” Kids: “Bacon.” Teacher: “Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?” Kids: “Homework.”
  3. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
cow joke related to a bulldozer
If you think this cow joke is funny, please share it to Pinterest right now.
  1. What do you use to count cows? A cow-culator.
  2. Cows are going to assemble together in the meet market.
  3. What’s the hardest part when making skimmed milk? Throwing the cow across the lake.
  4. Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.

If you want more awesomely funny stuff like these good cow jokes you’ve just read, please check out these 19 best Norm Macdonald jokes right now because this comedian is hilarious and smart.

Cow Dad Jokes That Are Both Corny & Funny

  1. Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best mooo-ves.
  2. Once a cow ceases to shave, it develops a moo-stache.
  3. Cows love to visit the country of Moo Zealand.
  4. What’s a cow’s favorite TV show? Dr. Moo.
  5. Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
cow dad joke related to a museum

Do you like these cow dad jokes? If so, please share the joke image you see above to Pinterest.

Knock Knock Cow Jokes

  1. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cows-go. Cows-go who? No, they don’t, cows-go moo moo.
  2. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow. What? Cow. Cow who? Well, cow much longer are you going to put up with all this knocking?
  3. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga dude!

A Cow Joke: The Editor’s Favorite One

What is Nazism? Nazism is when you have two cows and the government takes both, shoots you, and says “happy end” to your wife and kids.

The joke above is Roman Marshanski’s take on the joke from The Modern Language Journal. The original joke goes like this: “Nazism. You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.”

This joke is a classic example of “you have two cows” satire. That satire is an early 20th century American political satire in which the listener lives within a given system and has two cows.

Interesting Video

I’m sure you’ll like this bonus content video about cows because it’s pretty interesting.

Hear something interesting about the good old cow, bro. Please watch this right video now because it’s pretty interesting.

Cow Puns One Liners

cows lying peacefully on open meadows
  1. The cow is always working out for developing its moo-scles.
  2. What did the cow say to all her friends? I’m legen-dairy.
  3. What does the cow band play? Moo-sic.
  4. What do you get from a dwarf cow? Condensed milk.

If you like these cow one liners, please continue reading this page because there’s more hilarity below.

Best Cow Memes From Reddit

These are the best memes about this animal you’ll ever see. I’m sure you’ll agree with me because I did my best to bring you only the most hilarious memes.

  1. In my opinion, the meme below is the best one of all the funny cow memes on Reddit. It’s relatable and simple, yet hilarious. Please share this page if you like this meme.
  1. Unlike the first meme, this meme isn’t relatable. Its humor comes from its absurdity. But it’s pretty hilarious.
  1. All lovers of quirky humor will love this totally ridiculous and somewhat nerdy meme.

Amusing Cow Names

That would be amusing to have cows with these names.

  1. Gem
  2. Stew
  3. Magic
  4. Moody
  5. Woody
  6. Cloud
  7. Ghost
  8. Maggie
  9. Minnie
  10. Muffin
  11. MooMoo
  12. T-Bone
  13. Dazzle
  14. Nebula
  15. Peaches
  16. Goldie
  17. Trotter
  18. Crystal
  19. Diamond
  20. Penelope
  21. Popsicle
  22. Holy Cow
  23. Moo York
  24. Mootilda
  25. Mrs. Moo
  26. Red Bull
  27. Sir Loin
  28. Blizzard
  29. Espresso
  30. Guinness
  31. Midnight
  32. Sprinkles
  33. Milkshake
  34. Milky Way
  35. Winnie The Moo

Cow Puns From Reddit

brown cow head

These are some of the most upvoted puns from Reddit.

  1. What do you call a cow with two legs? Yo mama.
  2. What do you call a cow with fists? A pound of beef.
  3. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  4. What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.
  5. This is udderly ridiculous. Are you trying to milk this out for awhile? Or do you have a beef with someone?

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