Coffee Puns & Jokes List: 37 Best About This Drink You Like
Hey, that’s the ultimate coffee puns list. It has the best coffee jokes ever plus an awesome video. Check it out now because you’ll love it. Then, if you don’t hate it, please share it to your Tumblr blog or some other social media site (especially Pinterest). You’d be helping me publish more awesome stuff for you and your friends.
This page has many short puns about coffee. Some of them are cute and some of them are clever. Most of them are positive coffee puns and all of them are really good. On top of that, there’s a handpicked funny video about that annoying thing that often happens in a coffee shop. I’m sure something like that happened to you at least once.
Before I share with you my favorite coffee humor, how about a few interesting facts about this drink? I bet you don’t know these facts, like how in the world can you know that coffee contains caffeine? You have to have a PhD to know that.
But seriously, do you know that coffee beans are the seeds of berries from the flowering plants called Coffea? Also, do you know that the first time coffee was consumed as a beverage dates back to the 15th century? That’s when the people in Western Asian country Yemen drank it for the first time in history. Either way, many awesome jokes and puns are below.
Table Of Contents
11 Coffee Puns
The puns you’re about to read are both funny and clean. None of them are dirty. Some will say that a few of these puns are bad, but I think that all of them are totally awesome. So please enjoy and share this page.
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
- How are beans like kids? They’re always getting grounded.
- Why did the coffee shop close for the day? Because a storm was brewing.
- What do you call two coffee mugs sitting next together? A happy cup-ple. If you like this coffee pun, you’ll also like these 45 best funny clean jokes.
- What did the girl say when her coffee arrived at her table cold? Cool beans.
- How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- What did the barista say to the overly excited coffee beans? Kettle down everyone.
- Why did the two pots get in trouble at school? Because they were brewing up trouble. If you like this pun, you’ll also like these awesome school jokes.
- Why did it take the bean so long to do its homework? Because it was procaffeinating.
- Why didn’t the espresso ever talk to the herbal drinks? Because it said they weren’t his cup of tea.
- Why did the kangaroo stop drinking his cup of coffee? It made him too jumpy.
Do you like these funny coffee puns you’ve just read? Then you’ll also like these awesome yet corny jokes.
Hilarious Coffee Shop Jokes Video You’ll Enjoy
This awesome video may remind you of something annoying from a coffee shop. But this time it won’t be annoying: it’ll be hilarious.
5 Funny Coffee Jokes
- What’s a barista’s favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
- Instead of going to Starbucks, I make coffee at home, mispronounce my own name as loudly as possible, then light a $5 bill on fire.
- What would a father, who’s a coffee lover, say to his daughter everyday? You’re brewtiful.
- A religious couple are lying in bed. The husband says: “How about you go make us some coffee?” The wife replies: “That’s your job.” The husband asks: “Why?” The wife responds: “The Bible.” The husband says: “No it isn’t. The Bible says nothing about making coffee.” The wife gets her Bible, flips through the pages, and says: “See every page: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.” If you like these Bible coffee jokes, you’ll also like these 20 really funny religious jokes.
- Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
- A man at a restaurant was annoyed that the waiter hadn’t brought a spoon for his coffee. For that reason, he screamed: “This coffee is going to be pretty hot to stir with my fingers!” The waiter went back to the kitchen, returned with another coffee, and said: “Here you are sir. This coffee is not nearly as hot.”
- Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy.
If you like these funny coffee jokes you’ve just read, you’ll also like these awesome Little Johnny jokes.
5 Latte Puns
- What does a coffee bean’s Valentine’s Day card say? Sending you a whole latte love.
- What does a coffee lover say when they’re hitting on you? I’ve been thinking about you a latte.
- Why was the latte so upset? Because a customer told the barista it was bitter.
- Why was the java bean so worried? Because it said it had a latte problems at home.
- What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
If you think these latte puns are funny, please check out these egg puns now because you’re gonna like them.
The Editor’s Favorite Coffee Wordplay
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
If you like this coffee wordplay, please share this page to your favorite social media platform right now.
Best 3 Positive Coffee Puns From Reddit
The guys on Reddit wrote many positive coffee puns. These are the best of them. So I’m sure you’ll like them.
- If you’ve got a big test coming up, you’d better bring your thinking cappuccino.
- Java wonder why Starbucks is so successful?
- I like my coffee how I like my Death Star; huge, on the dark side and strong enough to destroy planets.
5 Coffee One Liners
You’ll love these one liners because they’re the best jokes about coffee you’ll ever read. They’re simply awesome.
- How does an IT guy drink coffee? He installs Java.
- What’s fat, slimy, and drinks a lot of coffee? Java the Hut. If you like this coffee one liner, you’ll also definitely like these funny Star Wars jokes.
- What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
- What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you’ve been there before? Deja-brew.
If these coffee one liners made you smile, you’ll have a really good laugh with these 93 best one liner jokes.
7 Coffee Love Puns
Coffee and love go hand in hand like two caffeinated lovers. So I’m sure you’ll love these cute coffee love puns.
- What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there hot stuff.
- What did the two coffee enthusiasts say when they got married? We’re meant to bean together.
- Where you bean all my life?
- I like you a latte.
- Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me.
- I can’t fully espresso my excitement.
- It’s hard to espresso my feelings for you.
If you like these coffee puns you’ve just read, please share this page with your friends right now because that would be great.
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