The World’s Worst Leader Gets 2nd Nobel Prize


You may have heard of a black dude Barack Obama. Besides pretending to be a good president of the United States he does not do much.

Some people say he watches TV all the time. Others say he just sits in the White House and smiles, while CIA and military-industrial complex are running the country. Regardless of what he exactly does (or does not do), one thing is clear: his biggest achievement was an award he got either because of a glitch or something even worse.

No one is sure why Barack Obama got The Nobel Peace Prize in 2009. Even the president himself couldn’t explain it.

When getting his first Nobel Prize, Barack Obama must have thought that the Norwegians played a practical joke on him. That’s why he turned down a lunch invitation from the King of Norway. Or maybe he was afraid he would cheat on his wife with one of incredibly hot Norwegian women. We all know how hot Norwegian and Swedish women are.

According to The Guardian, lunch with the Norwegian king was not the only event Obama had cancelled:

The White House has cancelled many of the events peace prize laureates traditionally submit to, including a dinner with the Norwegian Nobel committee, a press conference, a television interview, appearances at a children’s event promoting peace and a music concert, as well as a visit to an exhibition in his honour at the Nobel peace centre.

The fun did not stop there. After pissing off Norwegians for cancelling every event he could, he also pissed off their government by sending them a reprimand:

“My colleague in Washington received a reprimand from Obama’s chief of staff [Rahn Emmanuel, at the time]. The word ‘fawning’ was used,” Wetland added in an article in Norwegian daily Dagens Naeringsliv.

The diplomat said that the prize put Obama, who was nominated for the prize just weeks after taking office, in a difficult position. “An American president wants to set his own agenda. Here he was forced into a role that he hadn’t sought,” Wetland said. “It could seem like somebody did this to make Obama visit the country.”

That reprimand also scolded Norwegians for not knowing how to kiss Obama’s ass. So it advised them to learn how to do that before giving him a second one.

That’s why this year Obama got a second Nobel Prize. This time it’s for the “outstanding achievements in excellence and something else”. The Nobel committee has issued the following statement explaining it:

Since Obama was not happy with how we kissed his ass last time, we’re trying again this year, much harder. We hope this time Obama will be happy and have a lunch with our king (so we can eavesdrop on him).


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Roman Marshanski
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