Obama Plans To Play ‘Spin The Bottle’ In This Terrible Way

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You may have heard of a recent decision to bomb Syria. No one supported it, except for Republicans. This tells us it was as bad as it could get. When Republicans support you, you must be doing something terribly wrong, or maybe you are working for Republicans, just like Obama is.

Obama’s assistant turned rogue and revealed secret information about his boss. According to this classified information, Obama is a double agent working for both Chinese and Republicans.

This revelation comes amid Obama’s plunging ratings. They are so low liberal media are ignoring them altogether. Neither ABC nor CBS – or even NBC – have reported how low Obama’s ratings have fallen, even though these are record numbers:

On Friday morning, ABC, CBS, and NBC continued their blackout on the latest Gallup poll numbers showing President Obama’s approval rating at an all-time low of 38 percent. The blackout also continued regarding any polls on the President and his job approval/disapproval ratings.

Instead of covering these poll numbers… the networks devoted plenty of time to stories that they deemed important. Both ABC’s Good Morning America and NBC’s Today covered a dog in Poland who was dressed up as a giant spider to scare unspecting passerbys as part of a prank.

This should come as no surprise. Obama’s ratings are plunging simply because he is working for somebody’s else interests. These are not only Republicans and Chinese though.

People who have been revealed to be his financial sponsors include everyone from Saudis’ prince to oil corporations and big banks he was supposed to reign in. But this does not stop here. He also turned out to be on the side of world’s most secret organization called “Retarded Politicians Unite”.

Maybe Obama’s membership in that retarded organization is the reason his ambassador to United Nations is retarded as well. She has shown signs of severe mental retardation just recently. Her retardation has been so severe it was noted by Reuters:

She noted that Washington has concluded that Assad’s government is neither willing to nor capable of defeating Islamic State, which she said had enjoyed a safe haven in Syria for a long time.

According to this intelligently retarded woman, Assad is not willing to destroy his enemies. Apparently, it makes perfect sense when everyone around you is just as retarded as you are. So kudos to Miss Power for her retarded statements.

Apparently because of such retarded advisers, Obama has gotten even more retarded. So he stated he would find terrorists by playing spin the bottle game. He would spin the bottle around a list of random countries, and whatever country the bottle ends up pointing at, that country would be bombed.

Here is the actual statement, as released by the White House:

We are going to bomb some terrorists somewhere. Where exactly we don’t know. So we would use a highly sophisticated “spin the bottle” game. We would bomb wherever the bottle would point at, even if it is the White House. We are looking forward to disastrous consequences. Then we could give our criminal buddies in the military-industrial complex even more money.

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Roman Marshanski
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