Man Steals GPS, Reports Himself Lost – Was That GPS Bad?

'GPS - Guide for Cowards?' - Funny Pic

Call it the act of God. Call it Providence. Call it the bullshit of random universe. But if you intend to steal something, make sure your memory is good enough to find your way home. Otherwise, you would end up like this guy: calling the police to get back home. Only they would not take you home: they would take you to jail.

How sad would that be? You would probably want to sell what you stole, make some cash off it, get a blowjob from a five-dollar hooker, and Facebook about both your theft and your blowjob. This was the dream of this guy.

“What are the facts?” You may ask. Well, I apologize for taking so long to get to the point. So I will take even longer to get to the point. I will talk about Eastern philosophy and how it may have helped this guy not to steal. Just kidding. I have no intention of going there.

So the facts are:

  • “24-year-old Andrew James Joffe called 9-1-1 around 1:50 a.m. Thursday to say that he was lost”,
  • then “deputies… discovered that he had an open warrant”,
  • finally “deputies… found a stolen GPS device [inside his backpack]”.

He admitted stealing this GPS device from a woman’s vehicle. That has probably saved that woman from getting lost. Therefore, let’s petition the police officers who took that guy to release him, on the grounds that his act has saved that poor woman from getting lost.

Let us know what you think. Leave us a comment. We’d love to hear from you, especially if you got lost with a GPS device. But seriously, we wouldn’t blame you if you did: we would blame the manufacturer of that lousy GPS device, or Google Maps and their contributors.

So do leave us a comment. We promise to respect your opinion and make fun of it.

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Don’t believe that this really happened? We don’t believe it either, so check the original source.

Whatever your opinion may be, here are the words of wisdom that may teach you something:
When I steal, I ignore the GPS and Car Stereo.

How about yourself? How do you act when you steal?
Don’t pretend you’ve never stolen anything. We know you did. It was a pencil you took from us.

Roman Marshanski
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