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Life's Too Short Not To Laugh

35+ Funny Sayings So Ridiculous You’ll Never Repeat Them

Get ready for a wild ride! These funny sayings are like a roller coaster of absurdity and hilarity. They will make you scratch your head and will bring some fun into your day. So buckle up and enjoy the ride!

Please note: artificial intelligence wrote the introduction you read and almost everything else on this page.

Funny Sayings

This section has four subsections, including one about the life of a time traveler. So please read this section until the end because that’s where you’ll find the best funny saying.

  1. I’m not short, I’m just concentrated awesome.
  2. I’m not arguing, I’m just trying to win the argument and all the gold medals in the Olympics.
  3. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
  4. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  5. I didn’t want to come, but my shirt was already dressed for the occasion.
  6. I’m not saying it was a robot, but it was a robot dinosaur with a top hat and a monocle.
  7. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m the reincarnation of Cleopatra.
  8. I’m not saying it was llama, but it was a time-traveling llama that can do the cha-cha.

Funny Sayings About Rapper

funny saying in the form of neon sign
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  1. I’m not saying this rapper is bonkers, but he claims to have written the rap anthem for the birds, using only bird calls as lyrics.
  2. I’m not saying this rapper is nuts, but he claims to have written the first rap song on a typewriter, using only his toes.
  3. I’m not saying this rapper is insane, but he claims to have written the first rap song about the color yellow, using only the sound of a banana as a beat.

Funny Sayings In The Style Of Comedian Norm MacDonald

I asked artificial intelligence to imitate the style of American comedian Norm MacDonald. These funny sayings are the result.

  1. I’m not saying I’m a genius, but I think I figured out how to get out of jury duty. I just showed up in a tutu, with a monocle, and a top hat and told the judge I was an eccentric artist from the future.
  2. I’m not saying I’m a master of disguise, but I think I pulled off pretending to be a coffee table for Halloween. Nobody even tried to put their feet on me, or their drinks, or their plates of food.
  3. I’m not saying I’m a smooth operator, but I think I pulled off pretending to be a secret agent at a party. I just kept telling everyone I was on a ‘need to know’ basis and they all bought it, even when I accidentally spilled the beans about the top-secret plan to turn the moon into a giant trampoline.

If you like what you just read, you’ll like this list of the very best Norm MacDonald jokes, including the jokes that got him fired from Saturday Night Live.

Funny Sayings About Time Traveler

  1. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure I’m not a time traveler.
  2. I’m not saying I’m a time traveler, but I’ve always known the best place to hide a body is in the past.
  3. I’m not saying I’m a time traveler, but I’ve always known how to fix things with only a banana and a paper clip.
  4. I’m not saying I’m a time traveler, but I’ve always been able to find the missing socks in the dryer, inside a fully cooked turkey.
  5. I’m not saying I’m a time traveler, but I’m pretty sure I’ve been to the past because I found a parchment with the recipe for a time machine in my attic.

One Of The Best Funny Sayings Ever

  1. I’m not saying it was a tree, but it was a talking tree that sings karaoke.

If you’ve enjoyed these funny sayings, you’ll also enjoy these funny icebreaker questions written by artificial intelligence because they are totally awesome.

Funny Things To Say

These funny things to say are so ridiculous I’m proud of the artificial intelligence that wrote them.

  1. I’m not saying I’m a ninja, but I’m pretty sure I just snuck up on a shadow and gave it a wedgie.
  2. I’m not saying I’m a pirate, but I’m pretty sure I just stole a bag of chips from a seagull and made a quick getaway in my invisible spaceship.
  3. I’m not saying I’m a dinosaur, but I’m pretty sure I just chased a group of tourists around the museum and tried to eat their cameras.
  4. I’m not saying I’m a vampire, but I’m pretty sure I just drank a gallon of water and turned into a sunflower.

Funny Random Things To Say

friends laughing at funny random things
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  1. I’m not saying I’m the winner, but I’m pretty sure I won the race to the fridge when I was hungry.
  2. I’m not saying I’m old, but I’m pretty sure I just counted my age in dog years.
  3. I’m not saying I’m getting forgetful, but I’m pretty sure I just tried to unlock my car with a banana.
  4. I’m not saying I’m a hot mess, but I’m pretty sure I just tried to put on a pair of pants and ended up wearing them backwards for the entire day.
  5. I’m not saying I’m out of touch, but I’m pretty sure I just tried to pay for my groceries with a rock.

If you like these funny random things to say, please share this page to your favorite social media platform right now because your friends would be amused.

Funny Things To Say About Insanity

  1. I’m not saying I’m mentally unstable, but I’m pretty sure I just saw a unicorn fly out of my toaster while eating a bowl of spaghetti with chopsticks.
  2. I’m not saying I’m deranged, but I’m pretty sure I just heard a herd of elephants tap dance while playing a symphony.
  3. I’m not saying I’m crazy, but I’m pretty sure I just saw a giant hamster ride a skateboard while eating a burrito.
  4. I’m not saying I’m mentally unstable, but I’m pretty sure I just saw a unicorn do a breakdance while eating a bowl of cereal with a fork.
  5. I’m not saying I’m deranged, but I’m pretty sure I just heard a herd of elephants play a rock concert on accordions while tap dancing and juggling chainsaws.

One Of The Most Ridiculous & Funny Things To Say

  1. I’m not saying I’m overscheduled, but I’m pretty sure I just tried to plan a day off and ended up booking a meeting with a group of extraterrestrial beings.
artistic image of nebula

If you like these funny things to say you’ve just read, you’ll also like this list of the best funny toasts ever.

Funny Sayings About Life

These funny sayings about life are totally ridiculous yet true. Please share this page to social media if you end up agreeing with my opinion.

  1. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Unless you’re being chased by a bear, then it’s definitely a sprint.
  2. Life is like a game of Tetris, sometimes everything fits perfectly, and other times it’s a complete mess.
  3. Life is like a camera, focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.
  4. Life is like a book, you never know what’s going to happen next, but it’s always a good idea to keep reading.
  5. Life is like a deck of cards, you never know what you’re going to get, but if you get a good hand, hold onto it tight, unless the cards are all jokers and you’re playing poker with a group of aliens.
aliens in the car at night

One Of The Best Funny Sayings About Life

  1. Life is a rollercoaster that’s shaped like a giant taco, and sometimes you have to hold on for dear life, especially when you’re being chased by a giant, cheese-covered burrito.

Attention earthlings! Tag your friends and let the universe know that you’re not afraid to embrace the weird and the wacky: share this page with all of its funny sayings to social media right now!

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Related Links

  1. Wikipedia
  2. Reader’s Digest
  3. Science of People
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