35+ Best Funny Proverbs That Will Definitely Amuse You

Welcome to the wild world of funny proverbs! So please go ahead right now, dive into this collection of hilarity and let the laughter roll! These little nuggets of wit and wisdom may be small, but they pack a punch when it comes to making you chuckle. So whether you’re looking for a clever caption for that Instagram post or just need a quick pick-me-up, these proverbs have got you covered. And remember, a short funny proverb a day keeps the boredom at bay!

Please note: artificial intelligence wrote the introduction you read and almost everything else on this page. So some of these proverbs may be totally fake.

Note from human: I like the second section the most on this page, so please keep on reading even if you don’t like the first section because you’ll definitely like the second section.

Funny Proverbs

Please read this section until the end because the best proverb is at the end.

  1. “A bird does not sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.”
  2. “A cat has nine lives, but only uses them for napping.”
  3. “A watched pot never boils, but a watched fridge will eventually be full of cold pizza.”
  4. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough.”
  5. “Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all, especially if it was a really expensive gift.”
  6. “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless the bush is on fire, then the bird is probably toast.” If you like this funny proverb, I think you’ll definitely like this list of the best funny toasts ever.
  7. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, unless you want an omelette.”
  8. “Don’t bite off more than you can chew, unless it’s pizza.”

Funny Proverbs On Life

  1. “Life is a buffet, sometimes you have to try a little bit of everything before you find what you really like.”
  2. “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get, but at least it’s chocolate.”
  3. “Life is like a puzzle, sometimes you have all the pieces and it all comes together perfectly, and sometimes you have half the pieces and it’s just a big mess.”
  4. “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.”
  5. “Life is a journey, not a destination, so don’t forget to stop and take a selfie at all the tourist traps along the way.”

If you like these funny proverbs on life, please continue reading because this page has more stuff you’ll like.

Short Funny Proverbs

  1. “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, unless you’re baking a cake.”
  2. “Don’t judge a book by its cover, unless it’s a cookbook, then judge away.”
  3. “Don’t put the cart before the horse, unless you’re trying to start a horse-drawn cart business.”
  4. “Don’t put the horse before the cart, unless you’re trying to sell the cart to the horse.”
  5. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, unless the doctor is armed with a slingshot.”
  6. “A cat has nine lives, but it only uses them for hatching elaborate schemes to take over the world.”

One Of The Best Funny Proverbs Ever

Book of Proverbs on black table
  1. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, unless the doctor is really good at throwing apples back.”

If you like these short funny proverbs you’ve just read, you’ll also like this awesome collection of funny sayings because they’ll put a smile on your beautiful face.

Funny Chinese Proverbs

These fake but funny Chinese proverbs are totally awesome. I’m sure you’ll agree with my opinion.

  1. “A fish may love water, but it still needs a bicycle to ride to work.”
  2. “A fox may not be as clever as a tiger, but at least it doesn’t have to go to the gym everyday.”
  3. “A tiger may be strong, but a sheep has the ultimate weapon: a killer haircut.”
  4. “A rooster may crow at the break of dawn, but it’s still not as annoying as an alarm clock.”
  5. “A monkey may be agile, but it still can’t beat a sloth in a race to the fridge.”
  6. “An elephant never forgets, but a panda always forgets where it put its bamboo.”

Funny Ancient Chinese Proverbs About Friends

What would the ancient Chinese proverbs about friends be if artificial intelligence tried to make them funny?Well, here’s the answer. I think you’ll like it.

  1. “A friend who helps you move is a true friend, but a friend who helps you move a piano is a saint.”
  2. “A friend who tells you the truth, even when it hurts, is a true friend. A friend who tells you the truth while you’re eating is just rude.”
  3. “A friend who will sit with you and do nothing is worth more than a million friends who are too busy to make time for you.”
  4. “A friend who bails you out of jail is a good friend, but a friend who was never in jail to begin with is an even better friend.”
  5. “A friend who helps you up when you fall is a true friend, but a friend who takes a video of your fall and puts it on social media is just mean.”
  6. “A friend who lets you borrow their lucky socks is a good friend, but a friend who insists on wearing the socks themselves for good luck is just superstitious.”
  7. “A friend who remembers your birthday is a good friend, but a friend who remembers your Chinese zodiac sign and gets you a gift to match is a true expert.”

Fake Ancient Chinese Proverbs About Dragons

statue of dragon on gray building
If you like this image of a dragon, please share it to Pinterest right now because your friends will like it too.

If you think these proverbs are either ancient or Chinese, you have another thing coming. That other thing is pretty awesome though.

  1. “A dragon may be powerful, but it still needs a good set of wheels to get around.”
  2. “A dragon who hoards treasure is a greedy dragon, but a dragon who hoards socks is just a strange dragon.”
  3. “A dragon who sings off-key is a musical dragon, but a dragon who sings off-key on purpose is just a prankster dragon.”

One Of The Best Funny Chinese Proverbs Ever

  1. “A turtle may be slow, but at least it doesn’t have to worry about getting a speeding ticket.”
Chinese Fake But Funny Proverb About A Turtle
If you think this proverb is funny, please spread the joy and share it to Pinterest right now.

Funny Irish Proverbs

Irish Island Skellig Michael
I think this photo of an Irish Island Skellig Michael will look good on one of your Pinterest boards.
  1. “An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth.”
  2. “An Irishman is never lonely, he has the whiskey for company.”
  3. “An Irishman is never lost, he just takes a wrong turn and ends up where he needs to be.”
  4. “An Irishman is never cold, he just has bad circulation from all the Guinness.”
  5. “An Irishman is never bored, he has the gift of gab and can talk his way out of anything.”
  6. “An Irishman is never out of luck, he’s just temporarily between blessings.” If you like this Irish proverb, you’ll also like this totally awesome list of 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs.
  7. “An Irishman is never too poor to afford a pint, he just has to sell his soul to the leprechauns.”
  8. “An Irishman is never too old to dance, he just needs a little more whiskey to get his legs moving.”

If you’ve enjoyed these funny Irish proverbs, please continue reading because there’s more fun stuff below.


I’m sure you’ll like these anti-proverbs because they are totally awesome.

  1. “A bird in the hand is worth absolutely nothing, because birds carry diseases and germs and are generally gross.”
  2. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, because baskets are fragile and eggs are slippery. Just keep the eggs on the counter and hope for the best.”
  3. “Don’t put the cart before the horse, because horses are smarter and will probably just push the cart back where it belongs.”
  4. “A short pencil is better than a long memory, unless you’re trying to write a really long list, in which case a long pencil is probably better.”

I hope you enjoyed reading these funny proverbs as much as I enjoyed creating them. If you did indeed enjoy them and have a blog or a site, please link to this page because that will help me publish more awesome stuff. Or if you don’t have a blog or a site, why not share them with your friends on social media and brighten their day? So please go ahead right now, spread some laughter and joy with these proverbs any way you can.

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Related Links

  1. Wikipedia
  2. Quotabulary
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