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19 Best Really Funny Ferris Bueller Quotes

Laugh like a maniac with these really funny Ferris Bueller quotes. They’re the best you’ll find.

These quotes come with awesomely funny videos. So I’m sure you’ll love this page. It’s almost as awesome as the hilarious comedy film itself.

Indeed, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is one of the best comedy movies ever made. Matthew Broderick gives a hilarious performance. But you already know that. So I’ll stop talking so you can start reading the quotes.

1) Ferris: 4,000 restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.
Cameron: We’re pinched for sure.
Ferris: No way, Cameron. Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive. [puts on his beret] Let’s go.
Cameron: Let’s surrender.
Ferris: Never.

Ferris Bueller Quotes About The Car

2) Sloane: What are we gonna do?
Ferris: The question isn’t “What are we going to do?”, the question is “What aren’t we going to do?”
Cameron: Don’t say we’re not gonna take the car home. Please don’t say we’re not gonna take the car home. Please don’t say we’re not gonna take the car home.
Ferris: [to the home audience] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away? [beat] Neither would I.

Music Segment From Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

 

3) Ferris: Look, it’s real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we’ll take off.

Cameron: How?

Ferris: We’ll drive home backwards.

4) “The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school." — Ferris

Ferris Bueller Quotes About Life

5) “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris
Ferris Bueller Quotes life moves pretty fast

6) Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his a**, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

Best Ferris Bueller Quotes About High School
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7) “I am not going to sit on my a** as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it." — Cameron

The Rant That Includes Above Movie Quote

8) Economics Teacher: Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
Simone: Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.

Economics Teacher: Thank you, Simone.

Simone: No problem whatsoever.

9) “Oh, he’s very popular Ed. The sportsos, the motorheads, geeks, *lu*s, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude." — Grace

10) [Ferris has snuck aboard a parade float] Ferris: Ladies and gentlemen, you are such a wonderful crowd, we’d like to play a little tune for you. It’s one of my personal favorites and I’d like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn’t think he’s seen anything good today – Cameron Frye, this one’s for you.

Cameron: [screams]

Sloane: Ferris! Get off of the float!

11) “The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion." — Cameron
“It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage." — Ferris

Ferris Bueller About School

12) Ferris: “I do have a test today, that wasn’t bull**it. It’s on European socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point? I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European. So who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.”

13) Ferris: [his recorded message for the doorbell] Who is it?
[pause] Ferris: Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t come to the door right now. I’m afraid that in my weakened condition, I could take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences. You can reach my parents at their places of business. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate your concern for my well-being. Have a nice day!

14) Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.
Please check out funny Beatles quotes because Beatles are the best.

15) Ferris: [describing Cameron’s house] The place is like a museum. It’s very beautiful and very cold, and you’re not allowed to touch anything.

16) “I weep for the future." — Snooty/Snotty restaurant guy

Ferris Bueller About Love And Women

17) Ferris: Cameron has never been in love – at least, nobody’s ever been in love with him. If things don’t change for him, he’s gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she’s gonna treat him like **it, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won’t respect him, ’cause you can’t respect somebody who kisses your a**. It just doesn’t work.

The First Scene

18) Economics Teacher: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the… Anyone? Anyone?… the Great Depression, passed the… Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered?… raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government.

Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. “Voodoo” economics.

Quotes From Ferris Bueller Conversation With His Friend Cameron

19) Ferris: Where’s your brain?

Cameron: Why’d you kick me?

Ferris: Where’s your brain?

Cameron: Why’d you kick me?

Ferris: Where’s your brain?

Cameron: I asked you first.

Ferris: How can we pick up Sloane if Rooney is there with her?

Cameron: I said for her to be there alone and you freaked.

Ferris: Now, I didn’t hit you. I lightly slapped you.

Cameron: You hit me. Look don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it. You make me get out of bed, you make me come over here. You make me make a phony phone call to Edward Rooney? The man could squash my nuts into oblivion. And-and-and then, and then, you deliberately hurt my feelings.

20) [Ferris and Cameron enter the garage, where Cameron shows Ferris his father’s prized possession]

Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than 100 were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love. It is his passion.

Ferris: [eyes the car hungrily] It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage.

Cameron: Ferris, what are you talkin’ about?

[Ferris leans on the car] Ferris: Ooh!

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.

Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn’t deserve such a fine automobile.

[Ferris walks around the car]

Cameron: No. No. Apparently, you don’t understand.

Ferris: Wow.

Cameron: Ferris, he never drives it. He just rubs it with a diaper. [runs his finger across the Ferrari] Hey. Remember how insane he went when I broke my retainer? Huh? Come on, that was a little piece of plastic. This is a Ferrari.

Funny Ferris Bueller Quotes About Practical Matters
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