Amazon Releases Crazy, Trash-Talking Speaker


Amazon has released yet another futuristic product. Now Amazon is capable not only of delivering their products to you via air. Now Amazon is also capable of trash-talking to you whenever it wants to.

CNN has reported that Amazon’s new speaker called “I Hate Everyone But Jeff Bezos” will trash-talk every tech CEO except for Jeff Bezos. It would also trash-talk its own owner if the owner buys products from online retailers other than That apparently includes all the stores you can find on Google and other search engines, even the lousy one from Yahoo.

Apple fanboys will not like this speaker. It is reported that Jeff Bezos’ voice would scream at anyone who dares to buy Apple products from stores other than That includes iTunes.

This speaker is expected to be very popular among angry people. Apparently for this reason, this speaker is already sold out, for the next five months. Shortly after it has been sold out, Amazon has issued a statement congratulating all the angry people on being so angry that they need a trash-talking device.

It is not immediately clear whether Jeff Bezos – the CEO of Amazon – is the one who has come up with this device. However, this is very likely, as anger is often linked with power, and what CEO does not want to have power?


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Roman Marshanski
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