7 Funny Valentine’s Day Gifts To Ruin Her Day

I have given lots of Valentine’s Day gifts. But I have never given a perfect Valentine’s Day gift. As a matter of fact, most of them sucked real bad.

So I make no attempt at giving a sensible advice. Instead, I’m gonna give you a very bad advice. And hopefully, this advice is going to be funny, so you could buy something totally ridiculous. In the worst case scenario, you would get slapped in the face. In the best case scenario, she would fall laughing in your arms. If this happens, that’s because these are the Funniest Valentine’s Day Gifts ever.

1. Human Body Parts (either artificial or real)

Artificial Arm on The TableIf the body parts you give her are artificial, these should be life-size copies of your own favorite part. If the body parts you give her are real, you may get in serious trouble. She may even think you are a cannibal. In the worst case scenario, she would report you to police and you would get behind the bars, unless you’ve saved enough to bribe a police officer.

2. The Darth Invader Sex Toy
Funny Valentine's Day Gifts 2014 - The Darth Invader Sex Toy

She would think you are a seriously perverted nerd. But who cares? Perhaps she is a nerd too.

3. One of These Chinese Dolls

Funny Valentine's Day Gifts 2014 - Chinese DollsThis way she would know that you want to impregnate her. What a better way to implicitly tell her that you want to commit?

4. One of These Cards
Funny Valentine's Day Card 1 - The Gift
Funny Valentine's Day Card 2 - The Pimp
Funny Valentine's Day Card 3 - Steve Jobs

Dudes who created these cards either have a good sense of humor or they got really stoned to write them.

5. Very Ripped Jeans
Funny Valentine's Day Gifts - Ripped Jeans

So she would have absolutely zero doubt about your doggy style intentions. She would also be confident that you like her rear part. So this one is not actually such a bad Valentine’s Day gift, though a funny one.

6. Weight Loss Product That Doesn’t Work
Funny Valentine's Day Gifts 2014 - Weight Loss Product

Would you really give her a weight loss pill? No, only if you were a relative of George W. Bush.

7. The Scale That Tells The Truth
Funny Valentine's Day Gifts - The Scale

No woman wants to know her age and weight. Even some supermodels are conscious of these. By giving her that scale, you would sure piss her off.

Want more funny stuff? Check out absolutely hilarious collection of Funny Sex Jokes. They so funny you will pee your pants multiple times.

Roman Marshanski
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