This is a funny cat article submitted to us by Diane Strickland
My favorite type of pet is a cat. I like cats because they are the sarcastic, furry, four-legged mirror of myself. I think of living with a cat as constantly living with a teenage girl. So, if you have a cat, you need to take these steps in order to survive living with one.
1. Get up at 3:30 am to feed it. Make sure you have plenty of his/her favorite food, but know that it may change at will. I cannot tell you the number of times I have been woken up at 3:30 in order to feed Bailey. I trudge sleepily into the kitchen, open the can and put it in her bowl. The food she loved yesterday, she will turn her nose up at today. As I finally fall back to sleep, she decides that I need to try again and wakes me up once more.
2. Make sure you keep plenty of plants or grasses around. They may chew on them for comfort or attention. It is thought they might help with hairballs. Bailey looks at plants like they are a tasty treat. For example, I cleaned off the dining room table and put a lovely spider plant in the center. Bailey ignored it the first day. Day two arrives and I find bits of leaves on the floor with the cat looking at me like I must be seeing things. Third day, I am making dinner to find my feline master chomping on the leaves of the plant. Within a week, the plant had not one leaf left and had to go in the trash.
3. Don’t waste your money on fancy cat toys. The most fun my cat has had was not by playing with the expensive toys I bought her, but with stuff she found on the floor. She can play for several minutes with one of my hair ties. Bailey goes bananas if she sees a twist tie on the ground, you know the kind off bread. I have seen her toss it from one end of the house to the other end. Bottle caps. Heaven! Plastic bracelets. Terrific! Strings. Forget about it!
4. Get used to cat fur in random places and everywhere else. I have moved furniture and found clumps of cat fur, surprised she had any fur left on her body. Heaven help me if I vacuum the couch. This is an injustice worthy of calling the United Nations. She will sulk around for about an hour and then proceed to roll on the couch spreading as much fur as possible on it.
5. Make sure you have not touched, looked at, been around or Googled another animal. If you have, then make sure that you thoroughly wash your hands. Walking in the door and having your shoes sniffed then bitten is just one of the joys of owning a cat. Getting “the look” and the cold shoulder is another one. God forbid if you touch another cat, you might as well just move.
6. Whatever the cat wants, the cat gets. It is just easier if you go ahead and submit to the cat, realizing that you are just a servant in your own home. The cat is the master and always will be. They were worshiped as gods in ancient Egypt and they have never forgotten this.
Owning a pet, especially a cat, is a great joy. They can be fun and trying all at the same time. But, if you follow these steps, you will have a happy life with your pet.
