How Obama Will Use The Right To Be Forgotten


You may have heard of recent court case in which Google was forced to delete links from its search results. That case happened in Europe. But my time machine has helped me predict that those cases will soon happen in USA.

Those cases would haunt Google’s United States’ branch, like the Christmas ghosts have haunted Scrooge. That’s a bad analogy of course, so I take it back. Instead, Google’s executives would yawn when similar court cases arise here in the United States.

Moreover, drawing a parallel between Scrooge and Google is also bad, because Google has a non-profit arm

“So why the heck am I talking about this dumb parallel?” You may be asking yourself. To illustrate the ridiculousness of Google complaining about having to delete links. They had revenues of about 50 billion dollars in 2013. Hiring additonal staff to take care of those requests is no burden for them.

“So how Obama is going to use this right to be forgotten?” My time travel machine allows me to answer that question better than anyone else.

Once I traveled back into the future, I found Obama trying to get a job as community organizer. Instead, they gave him a fundraising job for least important liberal causes. They explained their decision not to give Obama a community organizer job because of links found about him through Google.

Obama was so angry about this that he immediately sued Google. But Google’s lawyers are a sneaky bunch. They cited his previous presidential status as the reason Google does not have to do this.

Obama had a few sneaky tricks up his sleeve too though. Being a former law professor, he thinks he found a loophole in US law that allows him to sue any US corporation that does something he does not like.

According to US law, the president is protected by Security Service long after his term in office is over. So Obama is claiming that this provision can be applied to president’s image. Here is what he said:

“If I have Secret Service that protects my security, I think I should also get a service to protect me from bad press. When they find bad press about me, they should eliminate all traces of it, because leaving bad press about me would harm United States’ image.”

I can’t agree more that what has harmed United States’ image are the bad news reports about Barack Obama. Obama’s decisions have played no role whatsoever. Indeed, it is as if the press started writing bad things about him for no reason whatsoever. We all know the positive impact his policies had.

This development could have been predicted even without my time travel machine. It could have been easily predicted, because Obama has threatened a journalist with criminal investigation – yes, he can!

That’s a pretty good record for a guy who claims to be a constitutional law professor. Professors of all countries unite and sue the crap out of journalists! All for the sake of Barack Obama, because he can!

yes, we can can spy on you - funny pic

Roman Marshanski
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