Ghost of Steve Jobs Visits Obama, Tells Him He Sucks
You may not believe this happened. But it did, the proof of which is that Obama sucks even more than before. Apparently, the bitter words of Steve Jobs have left an imprint on him.
On the other hand, Steve Jobs has proven once again that he rocks. This time it has to do with his afterlife though. But we knew it’d be extraordinary even before we’ve heard of this incident:
This incident happened a day after Obama has returned to the White House from yet another vacation. Obama is said to have been been having fun while watching Rihanna from iPod. That’s when Steve Jobs’ ghost appeared.
It is reported that Steve Jobs had an old iPhone. Apparently, he couldn’t place an order before his fans. That’s what I call the company that cares about its fans. It doesn’t give its founder the preferential treatment.
You may be asking right now: “How do I know Steve Jobs had an old iPhone?” The answer is simple. One of the Secret Service agents witnessed it. But it wasn’t the one who conveyed us this information.
This agent has also told us the words Steve Jobs said:
“I made this iPod not for morons like you, Obama. You don’t deserve it. You’re an embarrassment to African American population worldwide.”
However, these words were not heard by the agent who told us them. These words were said by Obama, who said he heard these words and wants the guy who said them put on a terrorist list, preferably to be bombed by drones.
The full story of this incident is far more mysterious, however. Only Obama could see the ghost. Whether it’s because of some illegal substance is highly unlikely. But check out the full story as conveyed by Secret Service agent:
“I and my colleague heard the sound of alarm. We immediately sprang into action. In less than two minutes we were in the Oval Office. There we see Mister President on his iPod, music blasting and some strange substance on his desk. He kept on screaming at us to kick the ghost of Steve Jobs out of his office. But we couldn’t see anyone.”
So when the Secret Service agents rushed into the Oval Office, they haven’t found anyone. Apparently because of that, Obama screamed at them:
“What the heck are you staring at you two potheads!? Are you implying I see a ghost of Steve Jobs just because I smoked some weed and took some hallucinogenic drugs?”
These news were not reported by any major news outlets. There were deemed to be in violation of recently released Spy Act. According to it, everyone who disagrees with the president or says something bad about him, is deemed a foreign spy and must be put in Guantanamo Bay; or if he resides outside the United States, bombed with drones.