102 Funny Laffy Taffy Jokes
These funny laffy taffy jokes will sure make you laugh. They are the best laffy taffy jokes you will find.
- How do you get an alien baby to sleep? You rocket.
- Where does a penguin keep his money? — in a snow bank.
- WHAT HAS NO LEGS BUT CAN DO A SPLIT? A BANANA!
- How do you communicate with a fish? You drop it a line.
- What falls down but never gets hurt? — snow.
- WHAT DO YOU GET IF YOU CROSS A STEREO AND A REFRIGERATOR? VERY COOL MUSIC!
- WHY COULDN’T THE SHOES GO OUT AND PLAY? THEY WERE ALL TIED UP!
- WHY DIDN’T THE LEOPARD GO ON VACATION? IT COULDN’T FIND THE RIGHT SPOT!
- WHAT DID THE SKUNK SAY WHEN THE WIND CHANGED? IT ALL COMES BACK TO ME NOW!
- WHY DO PHONES RING? BECAUSE THEY CAN’T TALK!
- WHAT IS THE BIGGEST ROOM IN THE WORLD? ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT!
- WHAT ROOM CAN NO ONE ENTER? A MUSHROOM!
- WHAT OPENS AND SHUTS BUT IS NOT A DOOR OR WINDOWS? YOUR MIND!
- What is a parasite? Something you see in Paris.
- WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A PIG WITH A CHRISTMAS TREE? A PORCUPINE!
- WHEN DO YOU STOP AT GREEN AND GO AT RED? WHEN EATING WATERMELON!
- WHY IS A PANCAKE LIKE THE SUN? BECAUSE IT RISES IN THE YEAST AND SETS IN THE VEST!
- WHAT DID THE BEE SAY TO THE FLOWER? HI BUD! WHAT TIME DO YOU OPEN!
- WHY DO HAMBURGERS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER? SO THEY WON’T FREEZE THEIR BUNS!
- WHY DIDN’T THE LITTLE GIRL WANT TO LEAVE NURSERY SCHOOL? SHE WANTED TO BE A NURSE WHEN SHE GREW UP!
- WHAT KIND OF TREE GROWS IN YOUR HAND? A PALM TREE!
- WHAT IS TEN AND TEN? NUMBERS!
- WHAT DID THE CHEERLEADER SAY TO THE GHOST? SHOW YOUR SPIRIT!
- WHAT PLANET IS LIKE A CIRCUS? SATURN IT HAS THREE RINGS!
- WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE CARRIED OUT TO SEA ON AN ICEBERG? KEEP COOL UNTIL YOU WERE RESCUED!
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A LEASE OF FALSE TEETH? A DENTAL RENTAL!
- WHERE DID THE KITTENS GO ON A CLASS TRIP? TO THE MEOW-SEUM!
- WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU HAVE A CAT THAT EATS LEMONS? A SOUR PUSS!
- WHAT DID THE WATER SAY TO THE SPONGE? QUIT SOAKING!
- Why did the farmer bury all his money? To make his soil rich.
- WHY IS A BAD JOKE LIKE A POOR PENCIL? BECAUSE IT HAS NO POINT!
- WHY DID THE BASKETBALL PLAYER BRING A DUCK TO THE GAME? SHE WANTED TO SHOOT A FOUL SHOT!
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A CAR THAT NEVER STOPS? CARGO!
- WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU DON’T HAVE ANY RUBBER BANDS? SEE IF YOU CAN FIND A PLASTIC ORCHESTRA!
- WHAT DID THE FORK SAY TO THE SPOON? WHO’S THAT SHARP GUY NEXT TO YOU!
- HOW DID DINOSAURS DECORATE THEIR BEDROOMS? WITH REP-TILES!
- WHY WAS THE CAT AFRAID OF THE TREE? BECAUSE OF ITS BARK!
- WHAT DID ONE CAMPFIRE SAY TO THE OTHER? LET’S GO OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS!
- WHAT FOODS ARE ESPECIALLY GOOD FOR YOUNG PEOPLE? THE PRO-TEENS!
- WHY DID THE BELT GO TO JAIL? IT HELD UP A PAIR OF PANTS!
- WHY WAS THE APPLE MEAN AND ANGRY? IT WAS A CRAB APPLE!
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A CRAB WHO PLAYS BASEBALL? A PINCH HITTER!
- WHAT IS THE CLUMSIEST BEE? A BUMBLING BEE!
- What kind of chain is edible? A food chain.
- What did one eye say to the other? Between me and you something smells.
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- What is smarter than a talking bird? A spelling bee.
- What did the grass say to the ball field? — I want to root for you.
- WHAT KIND OF TEA CANNOT BE TAKEN INTO SPACE? GRAVITY!
- WHAT DID ONE SHOE SAY TO THE OTHER SHOE? DON’T STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME!
- WHAT DID THE GROUND SAY TO THE DINOSAUR’S FOOTPRINT? YOU MADE A BIG IMPRESSION ON ME!
- WHY DIDN’T THE ASTRONAUTS LAND ON THE MOON? BECAUSE IT WAS FULL!
- Did you hear the joke about the toilet? Never mind it’s too dirty.
- What did the guy say to the horse when he walked into the bar? Why the long face?
- HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN JACK-O-LANTERN? WITH A PUMPKIN PATCH!
- WHY COULDN’T THE GIRL EAT HER ALPHABET SOUP? SHE WAS ALLERGIC TO THE B’S!
- WHAT DID THE IGNITION SAY TO THE CAR KEYS? YOU REALLY TURN ME ON!
- WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE BASKETBALL COURT? BECAUSE THE REFEREE CALLED FOWL!
- What did the tree say to the mountain? — stop peaking at me!
- If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? — a poul-tree.
- What do you get when you cross a grape with a lion? — a grape nobody picks on.
- How do you get the water into watermelon? — Plant it in the spring!
- Why was the boy covered in gift wrap? — His mom told him to “Live in the present!"
- How do you get a peanut to laugh? — you crack it up.
- Who greets you at a haunted house? — a host ghost.
- What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up.
- Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long? If it were 12 inches long it would be a foot!
- 69. WHAT DID THE PANCAKE SAY TO THE BASEBALL PLAYER? BATTER UP!
- 70. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A GOOSE WITH A CAMEL? GOOSEBUMPS!
- 71. WHAT DID ONE WORM SAY TO THE OTHER? I’M MOVING TO THE BIG APPLE!
- 72. WHAT HAS ONE HORN AND GIVES MILK? A MILK TRUCK!
- 73. What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you? Ten after one!
- 74. Where did the kittens go on the class trip — to the meow-seum.
- What goes tick-tock, woof-woof? — a watchdog
- What did the art dealer say when a man asked what a picture was supposed to be? — a reflection of you.
- How do you shoot a killer bee? — With a bee-bee gun.
- Why did the bowling pins stop working? — Because they went on Strike.
- Why did the man throw his margarine? — he wanted to see the butter fly.
- What did the finger say to the thumb? — I’m totally in glove with you dear.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a penguin? — a very cross penguin
- How do billboards talk? — Sign language!
- What kind of brush do you use to comb a bee’s hair? — a honey comb
- What happens when you cross a singer and a rocking chair? — you rock to the beat.
- How do you mend a broken jack o’ lantern? — with a pumpkin patch.
- what do you call a lease of false teeth? — a dental rental
- Where can you find an ocean without water? On a map.
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A BABY WITH A DRUM? A BABY BOOMER!
- HOW DO YOU CUT THE SEA IN HALF? WITH A SEA SAW!
- WHAT DID ONE POTATO SAY TO THE OTHER? I CAN SEE YOU ARE A CHIP OFF THE OLD SPUD!
- WHAT DID THE FOOTBALL SAY TO THE FOOTBALL PLAYER? I GET A KICK OUT OF YOU!
- WHY DID THE MOTHER PUT THE BABY ON THE RECORD PLAYER? IT HAD AN AUTOMATIC CHANGER!
- WHAT BUILDING HAS THE MOST STORIES? THE LIBRARY!
- WHAT WAS THE COWBOY LOOKING FOR AT THE BEACH? A SEAHORSE!
- WHAT DO YOU CALL A SLEEPING BULL? A BULLDOZER!
- WHAT DO FROGS ORDER FOR DINNER AT RESTAURANT? FRENCH FLIES!
- WHAT DID THE MAN SAY WHEN A PICTURE FELL ON HIS HEAD? I’VE BEEN FRAMED!
- WHAT DO YOU CALL GRANDMOTHER WHO CRACKERS JOKES? A GRAM CRACKER!
- What did the boy chip say to the girl chip (crisp for the Brits)? — Let’s dance and I’ll dip you.
- WHAT DO YOU FEED A INVISIBLE CAT? EVAPORATED MILK!
- WHAT KIND OF SHOES DO FROGS LIKE TO WEAR? OPEN TOAD SANDALS!
- What do you call a horse that likes arts & crafts? — a hobby horse.
- Why do shoemakers go to heaven? Because they have good soles.
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