17 Best Arrested Development Quotes By Tobias Funke You Need To Know
Enjoy 17 best Arrested Development quotes. Funniest quotes by Tobias Funke and other characters of this awesome TV show.
1. Mae ‘Maebe’ Funke: Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?
Michael: That’s a cross.
Mae ‘Maebe’ Funke: Across from where?
2. Narrator: Tobias listens to a day’s worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to…
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] … even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias Fünke: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] Oh, I’ve been in the film business for a while, but I just can’t seem to get one in the can.
Tobias Fünke: It’s out of context.
Tobias Fünke: [on tape] I wouldn’t mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator: …and he realized there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias Fünke: Tobias, you blowhard.
[chuckles]
3. Rita: And they think the stupidest things are funny.
Michael Bluth: Yeah, that’s a cultural problem is what it is. You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey. That’s the name of the show.
4. Tobias Fünke: Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over – an analyst and a therapist. The world’s first analrapist.
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5. Michael: Tell me the truth. There’s been a lot of lying in this family
Lucille: And a lot of love.
Michael: More lies.
6. Michael: I really think the reason you and I always fight is that, since we were little, Dad’s always played us off each other.
Gob: Dad always said that was your fault.
7. [repeated line] Gob: I’ve made a huge mistake.
8. Gob: Steve Holt’s not my son.
George Michael Bluth: Steve Holt? What, the moron jock?
Gob: That’s my son, you pothead.
9. Tobias Fünke: So what are your plans for this evening?
Bob Loblaw: I thought that maybe I would stay in and work on my law blog.
Tobias Fünke: Ah, yes. The “Bob Loblaw Law Blog”. You, sir, are a mouthful.
10. Lucille: You tricked me.
Michael: I *deceived* you. “Tricked” makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
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11. Michael Bluth: [calling from prison, taking about his brother, Gob] I’ve got a nice hard cot with his name on it.
Lucille: You would do that to your brother?
Michael Bluth: I said “cot”.
12. [Tobias discovers that George Sr. has been living in the attic] Tobias Fünke: What are you doing up here?
George Sr.: I’m having a f**king tea party, what does it look like? I live here. You tell anyone, you are DEAD.
[he shoves Tobias up against the wall with his hand against his mouth] George Sr.: Stop licking my hand, you horse’s a**.
13. Gob: [talking about his new boat] The Seaward.
Michael: You’re not getting a boat.
Gob: [doing rock, paper, scissors] One, two, three.
Michael: You’re not gonna do it…
[does rock] Michael: .
Gob: Paper covers rock.
Michael: Fine, but rock sinks boat.
Lucille: [entering room] Michael.
Michael: Just a minute mom.
[to GOB] Michael: . Get rid of the Seaward.
Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.
14. Tobias Fünke: Don’t leave your uncle T-Bag hanging.
George Michael Bluth: Please don’t call yourself that.
15. Buster: [Confronting Lucille about his birth father] You lied to me… you said my FATHER was my father, but my UNCLE is my father. MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE.
16. Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille: I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.
17. [Michael has found his brother, Gob, hidden in his office] Michael: One of those British guys came up to me and told me to back off. I can’t believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This may be dangerous.
Gob: So you came back here to hide like a child.
Michael: What are you doing locked in my office, exactly?
Gob: Hiding from a child. Big difference.
Michael: Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection.
Gob: He doesn’t know what he feels. I’m tired of being told – my God. What is this feeling?
[Schmaltzy music begins to play] Michael: You know, the feeling that you’re feeling is just what many of us call… a “feeling”.
Gob: It’s not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite – it’s like my heart is getting hard.
[the music reaches its crescendo] Gob: Maybe I am ready to be a father.
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