Bart Simpson Quotes: 15 Funniest That Will Make You Laugh
Enjoy 15 funniest Bart Simpson quotes. This collection of Bart Simpson quotes is the best one you will find. So share them with your friends and read them to the very end because in the end of this page there is a huge collection of Bart Simpson chalkboard quotes you will love.
1
Bart: Alright, that’s it. I’ve been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins. My Krusty Kalculator didn’t have a seven or an eight. And Krusty’s autobiography was self-serving, with many glaring omissions. But this time, he’s gone too far!
2
Bart: I’ve got a story so scary you’ll wet your pants.
Grampa: Too late
3
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey type creature?
Mrs. Krabappel: I’m sorry, That would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod. I want my monkey man!
Check out really funny animal jokes that will make you laugh
4
Marge: Well I’m sure glad we didn’t turn into mindless zombies.
Bart: Sh! TV.
5
Bart: Look in my eyes. See the conviction? See the sincerity? See the fear? As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade!
Homer: And if you don’t, at least you’ll be bigger than the other kids.
6
Bart: What’d you do? Screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
Homer: All the time. It was the title of our second album.
7
Bart: You make me sick, Homer. You’re the one that told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it.
Homer: Well now that you’re a little bit older I can tell you that’s a crock. No matter how good you are at something, there’s always about a million people better than you.
Bart: Gotcha. Can’t win, don’t try.
8
Bart: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.
Homer: He was a zombie?
9
Homer: Hey boy, where are you going?
Bart: Father son picnic.
Homer: Have a good time. {pause} Wait a minute.
10
Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately.
Bart: Yeah. You made us march in that gay rights parade.
Homer: And we can’t watch FOX because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria.
11
Homer: Hey kids, how was school?
Lisa: I learned how many drams in a penny weight.
Bart: I got expelled.
Homer: That’s my boy!
12
Homer: You’re our last hope, boy.
Bart: I really don’t want to be here, Dad! Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.
13
Marge: So how are things at home?
Bart: We flushed the gator down the toilet but it got stuck halfway so now we have to feed it.
14
Skinner: Because you have impeded science you must now aid science. Yes. Starting tomorrow you will assist me with my amateur astronomy. Taking down coordinates, carrying equipment and so forth. Four-thirty in the morning.
Bart: There’s a four-thirty in the morning now?
15
Bart: Hey Mr. Burns, can I go with you to get the treasure? I won’t eat much and I don’t know the difference between right and wrong.
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Roman Marshanski is the founder of Humoropedia.com and former Hollywood actor. You can Google his name to see the list of his movies (or you can click on his name above this box to visit his personal website). He wrote thousands of pages of fiction. Some of that fictional writing is screenplays and a lot of it is comedic writing. So he completed two feature film screenplays and many shorter literary works, some of which are comedy. He did most of that writing during his film career as a Hollywood actor. He was the lead actor in Rebecca Cremona's Magdalena. Rebecca Cremona was Steven Spielberg's protege on Munich. So he has a deep understanding of the creative process and can be considered an authority on all things related to humor. Indeed, his screenplays contain a lot of humor. That's where his love for jokes started. Eventually, this love of jokes led Roman to the creation of Humoropedia.com, the wonderful home of funny jokes and witty puns. He thinks humor is something very good. If you also think so, please follow him on X now because he has a sense of humor.
