3 Weird Reasons John Boehner Hates The Poor

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Did you know John Boehner was raised in a poor family and had to share bathroom with 11 kids?

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Circumstances like that would probably make a person appreciate the plight of the poor. Maybe they would even make a person help the poor.

“But not so in case of John Boehner!” You may exclaim, considering his track record for opposing anything helpful for unemployed and destitute, including unemployment benefits, Obamacare, and almost everything in between, especially if it came from Obama.

Considering such track record, this is logical to assume he hates the poor. But the reasons are less clear-cut. They are funny though.

1. Fear of Past

He hates the circumstances he grew up in. So he wants to avoid getting back there. Judging from his track record, he apparently thinks the best way to avoid getting there is to associate with the super-rich who are bankrolling themselves at the expense of American public. He got a point. That’s way easier than doing something innovative or helpful , like inventing a ground-breaking product or creating something that will help lots of people.

2. Bathroom Revenge

Growing up, he had to share bathroom with 11 kids. So do you think he wants to give benefits to his unemployed family so they could finally build a second one? This way they would live better than he had. And he is the person who associates with bankers, oilmen, and other people who feed off the misery of others, so don’t you think he has become like one of them?

3. Fear To Be Accused Of Helping His Own Family

Another reason is that 2 of his brothers are unemployed. So he wants to make sure nobody thinks he is helping his family. Oil corporations and big banks, on the other hand, are definitely not a part of his natural family. So nobody can accuse him of helping his family. Ain’t it nice helping the rich strangers? You may object that it is at the expense of American public.

All of those reasons said, it becomes obvious that John Boehner is just a poor schmuck who got his hands on big money and got seriously addicted to it. Let’s enroll him in a mental hospital for his own benefit. This may treat him from his addictions to money and power.

Want more funny stuff about John Boehner?
Check out 17 Best John Boehner Jokes

Roman Marshanski
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