Dumb and Dumber Quotes and GIFs
Check out our awesome collection of Dumb and Dumber Quotes and GIFs. Among them, you will find some of the best Dumb and Dumber quotes about Aspen, not to mention that awesome moment when Lloyd freezes his tongue – we got a video of that! This page is so funny you will laugh out loud, or we’re not Humoropedia.com. Plus, at the end of the page, you will find a collection of youtube videos with best Dumb and Dumber scenes.
Dumb and Dumber Quotes
How To Get Cops Off Your Back
This Is Bullshit
Called A Girl?
Redeem yourself right now…
Harry Dunne: [a large bus full of gorgeous women in bikinis pull up beside them and three step out]
Bikini Girl: Hi, guys. We’re going on a national bikini tour, and we’re looking for two oil boys who can grease us off before each competition.
Harry Dunne: You are in luck! There’s a town about three miles that way. I’m sure you’ll find a couple guys there.
Bikini Girl: [baffled] Okay, thanks.
[the doors close and the bus drives off. After a second, Lloyd turns to Harry] Lloyd Christmas: Do you realize what you’ve done?
[they run after the bus] Lloyd Christmas: HEY! HEY!
Harry Dunne: Lloyd! Lloyd!
[the bus stops and opens the doors] Lloyd Christmas: [panting] You’ll have to excuse my friend. He’s a little slow. The town is back *that* way.
Dumb and Dumber Quotes: Aspen
Lloyd Christmas: What the hell are we doing here, Harry? We gotta get out of this town!
Harry Dunne: Oh yeah, and go where? Where are we gonna go?
Lloyd Christmas: I’ll tell you where. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m talking about a little place called Aspen.
Harry Dunne: Oh, I don’t know, Lloyd. The French are assholes.
Harry Dunne: According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.
Harry Dunne: I don’t get it, Lloyd. She told me ten o’ clock, sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?
Harry Dunne: Yep. I’m pretty sure. Lobby bar right by the lobby.
[sighs] Harry Dunne: Maybe she just had a change of heart.
Harry Dunne: Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! I hate when women do that. She wanted to see you again! And now no? Now… Wait a minute! Wait! She must have meant ten o’ clock at night!
Harry Dunne: Do you think…?
Harry Dunne: Why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?
Harry Dunne: I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.
Lloyd Christmas: Excuse me, little old lady. Do you have change for a dollar?
Elderly Lady: Change? No I’m sorry, I don’t.
Lloyd Christmas: Well, can you do me a favor and watch my stuff here while I go break a dollar?
Elderly Lady: Of course.
Lloyd Christmas: Thanks. Hey, I guess they’re right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose. I’ll be right back. Don’t you go dying on me.
2 and 2
Lloyd Christmas: Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?
Mary Swanson: How’d you guess?
Lloyd Christmas: I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket, I put 2 and 2 together.
Harry Dunne: What’s her last name? I’ll look it up.
Lloyd Christmas: You know, I don’t really recall. Starts with an S! Let’s see. Swim? Swammi? Slippy? Slappy? Swenson? Swanson?
Harry Dunne: Maybe it’s on the briefcase.
Lloyd Christmas: Oh, yeah! It’s right here.
[He reads the manufacturer’s name, which is Samsonite] Lloyd Christmas: Samsonite! I was way off! I knew it started with an S, though.
Lloyd: Life is a fragile thing, Har. One minute you’re chewin’ on a burger, the next minute you’re dead meat.
Harry: But he blamed me. You heard him. Those were his last words.
Lloyd: Not if you count the gurgling sound.
Scam From The Movie
Harry: That was genius, Lloyd, sheer genius. I mean where did you come up with a scam like that?
Lloyd: Saw it in a movie once.
Harry: That’s incredible! So what happened, so the guy tricks some sucker into picking up his tab and gets away with it scott free?
Lloyd: No, in the movie, they catch up to him half mile down the road and slit his throat! Hahaha! It was a good one.
Harry: I can’t believe we drove around all day, and there’s not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.
Aspen Dumb and Dumber Quotes
Lloyd: So where are you headin’?
Lloyd: Hmmm, California! Beautiful!
Get To Aspen
Harry: Now we don’t have enough money to get to Aspen, we don’t have enough money to get home, we don’t have enough money to eat, we don’t have enough money to sleep!
Lloyd: Well, it’s not gonna do us any good sitting here whining about it.
Lloyd: Excuse me. Could you tell me how to get to the medical school? I’m supposed to be giving a lecture in 20 minutes, and my driver’s a bit lost.
Lloyd: I swallowed a big June bug when we were driving. I’m not really hungry.
Lloyd: You spilled the salt, that’s what’s the matter! Spilling the salt is very bad luck! We’re driving across the country, the last thing we need is bad luck. Quick, toss some salt over your right shoulder.
Sea Bass: What the hell? Who’s the dead man that hit me with the salt shaker?
Go To The Bathroom
Harry: I have to go to the bathroom.
Lloyd: Just go man…
Dumb and Dumber GIFs
Don’t Spend Your Life Savings This Way
Do You Care?