11 Funny Dentist Jokes
Check out our awesome collection of funny dentist jokes. They include all the best, funniest moments people have encountered when visiting dentists.
1. Visit To The Dentist
The Marshes were shown into the dentist’s surgery, where Mr Marsh makes it absolutely clear that he is in a big hurry.Funny visit to the dentist
‘No expensive extras, Doctor’, Marsh demands, ‘No gas or needles or any of that fancy stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with.’
‘I wish more of my patients were as strong minded and as brave as you, Mr Marsh, ‘said the dentist admiringly. ‘Now, which tooth is it?’
Mr Marsh turns to his wife and says:
‘Show him your tooth, honey.’
2. Slowly If You Like
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled? Dentist: $100.00. Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work? Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
3. Nervous Patient
“I came in to make an appointment with the dentist.” said the man to the receptionist.” “I’m sorry sir.” she replied. “He’s out right now, but…” “Thank you.” interrupted the obviously nervous prospective patient. “When will he be out again ?”
4. Screaming Lady
A particularly voluptuous lady entered the dentists surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down assuring her that he would do nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth, she screamed.
So he tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience.
Almost immediately the lady threw a hysterical fit, then realizing that the dentist had begun glaring at her, she said, “Oh doctor, I’m so nervous. I hate dentists. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled.”
Replied the dentist ” Well Miss, better make up your mind fast so that I can accordingly adjust the chair.”
5. Painless Dentist
When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of “Painless” dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. “He’s a fake ! ” he told his mates. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else.”
7. Stuttering Patient
Stuttering Charlie to dentist’s sexy secretary: “I have an appointment to get my morals – er molars checked.”
Check out more stuttering jokes
6. Dental Treatment Hits The Right Note
A patient sits in the dental chair with severely fractured front teeth. After discussing with the orthodontist how they will be restored and what the fee would be the patient says, ‘Before you start, I gotta know: Will I be able to play the clarinet when you are finished?’
The dentist replies ‘Sure you will!’
The patient replies ‘Great, I couldn’t play a note before!’
8. Husband’s Teeth
An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes and spread her legs. The dentist said, ”I think you have the wrong room.”
”You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”
9. Funny Dentist
A man walks into the dentist’s office and after the dentist examines him, he says, “that tooth has to come out. I’m going to give you a shot of Novocain and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
The man grabs the dentist’s arm, “no way. I hate needles I’m not having any shot!”
So the dentist says, “okay, we’ll have to go with the gas.”
The man replies, “absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I’m not having gas.”
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, “here,” he says. “Take this pill.”
The man asks “What is it?”
The doc replies, “Viagra.”
The man looks surprised, “will that kill the pain?” he asks.
“No,” replies the dentist, “but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!”
10. The Buddhist
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
11. The Undertaker
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to the hotel that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten to get his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, “I forgot my teeth.” The man said, “No problem.” With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.
“Try these,” he said. The speaker tried them. “Too loose,” he said. The man then said, “I have another pair…try these.” The speaker tried them and responded, “Too tight.” The man was not taken back at all. He then said, “I have one more pair…try them.” The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.” With that he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. “I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.” The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m the local undertaker.”
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Related: Funny Doctor Jokes