I have given lots of Valentine’s Day gifts. But I have never given a perfect Valentine’s Day gift. As a matter of fact, most of them sucked real bad.
So I make no attempt at giving a sensible advice. Instead, I’m gonna give you a very bad advice. And hopefully, this advice is going to be funny, so you could buy something totally ridiculous. In the worst case scenario, you would get slapped in the face. In the best case scenario, she would fall laughing in your arms. If this happens, that’s because these are the Funniest Valentine’s Day Gifts ever.
If the body parts you give her are artificial, these should be life-size copies of your own favorite part. If the body parts you give her are real, you may get in serious trouble. She may even think you are a cannibal. In the worst case scenario, she would report you to police and you would get behind the bars, unless you’ve saved enough to bribe a police officer.
2. The Darth Invader Sex Toy
She would think you are a seriously perverted nerd. But who cares? Perhaps she is a nerd too.
3. One of These Chinese Dolls
This way she would know that you want to impregnate her. What a better way to implicitly tell her that you want to commit?
4. One of These Cards
Dudes who created these cards either have a good sense of humor or they got really stoned to write them.
5. Very Ripped Jeans
So she would have absolutely zero doubt about your doggy style intentions. She would also be confident that you like her rear part. So this one is not actually such a bad Valentine’s Day gift, though a funny one.
6. Weight Loss Product That Doesn’t Work
Would you really give her a weight loss pill? No, only if you were a relative of George W. Bush.
7. The Scale That Tells The Truth
No woman wants to know her age and weight. Even some supermodels are conscious of these. By giving her that scale, you would sure piss her off.
Want more funny stuff? Check out absolutely hilarious collection of Funny Sex Jokes. They so funny you will pee your pants multiple times.
Roman Marshanski is the founder of Humoropedia.com and former Hollywood actor. You can Google his name to see the list of his movies (or you can click on his name above this box to visit his personal website). He wrote thousands of pages of fiction. Some of that fictional writing is screenplays and a lot of it is comedic writing. So he completed two feature film screenplays and many shorter literary works, some of which are comedy. He did most of that writing during his film career as a Hollywood actor. He was the lead actor in Rebecca Cremona's Magdalena. Rebecca Cremona was Steven Spielberg's protege on Munich. So he has a deep understanding of the creative process and can be considered an authority on all things related to humor. Indeed, his screenplays contain a lot of humor. That's where his love for jokes started. Eventually, this love of jokes led Roman to the creation of Humoropedia.com, the wonderful home of funny jokes and witty puns. He thinks humor is something very good. If you also think so, please follow him on X now because he has a sense of humor.
If the body parts you give her are artificial, these should be life-size copies of your own favorite part. If the body parts you give her are real, you may get in serious trouble. She may even think you are a cannibal. In the worst case scenario, she would report you to police and you would get behind the bars, unless you’ve saved enough to bribe a police officer.
This way she would know that you want to impregnate her. What a better way to implicitly tell her that you want to commit?
