You may have heard of a guy who buys an iPhone for you. His whole job lies – or ‘stands’ – in standing in line for you. According to ABC News (which are news for people who are still learning alphabet):
He charges only $25 for the first hour of waiting, and $20 for each additional hour. The full rate for his 38-hour wait for the iPhone 6 was $765.
Since there was demand for his services, we feel compelled to reveal more ways to spend your hard-earned dollars on something totally unnecessary.
Come up to the random person on the street and give him your money. It would help if he looks like the guy below:
This way it would take a while before you find someone who would actually buy you a new iPhone and not steal your money. So it would definitely cost you a lot of money.
2. Your Deadbeat Relative
Call up your relative who never pays his debts and offer him some money in exchange for an iPhone he bought himself. Then, when he says he first wants to have the money transferred to his bank account, transfer it. This way, he would get to keep both the money and iPhone. If you have more than one relative like that, that would mean you can spend even more money.
3. Random Bench Trick
Put 700$ in an envelope and leave it on a bench, preferably in a park. Put a note in that envelope, one that would say:
I leave these 700$ in cash with my address and phone number, so whoever owes an iPhone 6 or 7 can sell it to me. This money should be considered a payment.
4. Travelling to China
Travel to China, go to its most crime-ridden area, and tell ’em you’re a millionaire who wants to spend as much money on iPhone as possible. Don’t be surprised when they kidnap you. But it would indeed cost as much as possible. May even cost your life. That’s a trick you can play on your enemy, if you enemy is retarded.
5. Pretending in Apple Store
Go to Apple store and hand your money to anyone pretending to be an Apple employee. This would be hard to do, because Apple Stores are very good at pretending all sorts of things. That method may work if you ask your deadbeat relative to do that.
6. Banner On A Tree
Climb up a tree and attach a banner to it, with the following words:
I want to buy a new iPhone for as much as possible! Anyone interested in screwing me, give me a call on this number!
7. Crazy Zoo Solution
Go to the zoo and stick 700$ into one of the animals’ mouths. I don’t think there’s a regulation against sticking your money into the mouth of an animal. So you’d be totally on the side of a law, even if on the side of the crazy ones. “How does help to buy a new iPhone?” You may ask. Well, before sticking money into the animal’s mouth, you can ask it to buy you a new iPhone.
Now that you know 7 ways to buy New iPhone for as much as possible, go ahead and share them with your friends. They should know that new iPhone must cost as much as possible. Apple fanboys, by the way, agree. They’re actually angry iPhone costs so little. But who can blame them? Apple’s ads are as good as their products, if not better.
Want more technology-related humor?
Check out our absolutely hilarious collections of Instagram Jokes and Google Jokes. They so funny you will laugh out loud.
Roman Marshanski is the founder of Humoropedia.com and former Hollywood actor. You can Google his name to see the list of his movies (or you can click on his name above this box to visit his personal website). He wrote thousands of pages of fiction. Some of that fictional writing is screenplays and a lot of it is comedic writing. So he completed two feature film screenplays and many shorter literary works, some of which are comedy. He did most of that writing during his film career as a Hollywood actor. He was the lead actor in Rebecca Cremona's Magdalena. Rebecca Cremona was Steven Spielberg's protege on Munich. So he has a deep understanding of the creative process and can be considered an authority on all things related to humor. Indeed, his screenplays contain a lot of humor. That's where his love for jokes started. Eventually, this love of jokes led Roman to the creation of Humoropedia.com, the wonderful home of funny jokes and witty puns. He thinks humor is something very good. If you also think so, please follow him on X now because he has a sense of humor.
