Government Definition: The Art of Herding Invisible Llamas
Government (n.):
A mythical creature said to live in marble buildings and convert coffee into confusion. Often mistaken for an organized system, but in reality, it’s just a giant invisible llama rodeo where the llamas write laws using typewriters from 1973.
Governments come in several styles:
Democracy: Two pandas and a ferret vote on who gets to guard the cheese.
Monarchy: One panda says the cheese is divine and sits on it.
Dictatorship: No pandas. Only cheese. And it watches you.
Bureaucracy: All cheese must be processed in triplicate, lost, found, reclassified as "emotional dairy," and then burned for warmth.
Governments are powered by three things:
Memos that no one reads
Meetings that create more meetings
A secret ritual involving expired printer ink and an oath sworn to a spreadsheet.
Warning:
Excessive government exposure may cause side effects such as taxation, potholes, and a vague feeling that someone, somewhere, is regulating your sandwich.
