30 Best Forrest Gump Quotes That Will Make You Laugh
Forrest Gump: You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father’s bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin’ was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn’t. Little Forrest, he’s doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He’s really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He’s so smart, Jenny. You’d be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can’t read it. I’m not supposed to, so I’ll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don’t know if Momma was right or if, if it’s Lieutenant Dan. I don’t know if we each have a destiny, or if we’re all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it’s both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.
John F. Kennedy: Congratulations, how do you feel?
Forrest Gump: I gotta pee.
John F. Kennedy: [turning to camera] I believe he said he had to go pee. Heh heh.
Check out our awesome collection of really funny President Jokes
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn’t know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.
Forrest Gump: There was this man giving a little talk, and for some reason he was wearing an American flag for a shirt. And he liked to say the ‘F word’ a lot. “F this” and “F that”. And every time he said the ‘F word’ people, for some reason, well, they cheered.
Table Of Contents
The Best Forrest Gump Movie Quotes In Video
Really Funny Forrest Gump Running Quotes
Forrest Gump: That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I’d gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going.
Continue reading these funny Forrest Gump quotes
Forrest Gump: [running] I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours.
[he stops and turns around] Young Man Running: Quiet, quiet! He’s gonna say something!
Forrest Gump: [pause] I’m pretty tired… I think I’ll go home now.
Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! Why did you put that weapon together so quickly, Gump?
Forrest Gump: [confused] You told me to, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: Jesus H. Christ!
[looks at stopwatch] Drill Sergeant: This is a new company record! If it wouldn’t be such a waste of a damn-fine enlisted man I’d recommend you for OCS! You are gonna be a general someday, Gump, now disassemble your weapon and continue!
Jenny Curran: His name’s Forrest.
Forrest Gump: Like me.
Jenny Curran: I named him after his daddy.
Forrest Gump: He got a daddy named Forrest, too?
Jenny Curran: You’re his daddy, Forrest.
Forrest Gump Rain Quote
Forrest Gump: One day it started raining, and it didn’t quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin’ rain… and big ol’ fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. Shoot, it even rained at night…
Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you’re gonna be?
Forrest Gump: Who I’m gonna be?
Jenny Curran: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: Aren’t-aren’t I going to be me?
Forrest Gump: Stupid is as stupid does.
Forrest Gump: My momma always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.’
Forrest Gump Shrimp Quote
Bubba: Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it.
Forrest Gump Jenny Quotes
Continue reading these Forrest Gump Jenny Quotes
Forrest Gump: Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots.
Jenny Curran: Have you ever been with a girl, Forrest?
Forrest Gump: [nervously] I sit next to them in my Home Economics class all the time.
Check out our awesome collection of Funny Sex Jokes
Jenny Curran: Why are you so good to me?
Forrest Gump: You’re my girl!
Jenny Curran: [pause] I’ll always be your girl.
Jenny Curran: Were you scared in Vietnam?
Forrest Gump: Yes. Well, I-I don’t know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out… and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water… like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It’s so beautiful.
Jenny Curran: I wish I could’ve been there with you.
Forrest Gump: You were.
Forrest Gump: Mama always said, God is mysterious. He didn’t turn Jenny into a bird that day. But instead – he had the po-lice say Jenny didn’t have to stay in that house no more. She went to live with her grandma, just over on Creekmore Avenue. And that made me happy, because she was close. And some nights she’d sneak out and come on over to my house, because she said she was scared. It may have been because of her grandma’s dog, or somethin’.
Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and looks at him] Forrest Gump: I’d make a good husband, Jenny.
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest.
Forrest Gump: …But you won’t marry me.
Jenny Curran: [sadly] … You don’t wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don’t you love me, Jenny?
[Jenny says nothing] Forrest Gump: I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.
Check out out awesome collection of really Funny Marriage Jokes
Fat Man at Bench: It was a bullet, wasn’t it?
Forrest Gump: A bullet?
Fat Man at Bench: That jumped up and bit you.
Forrest Gump: Oh, yes sir. Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money ’cause I still haven’t seen a nickel of that million dollars.
Forrest Gump: He was from a long great military tradition. Somebody from his family had fought and died in every single American war. I guess you could say he had a lot to live up to.
Check out out awesome collection of Funny Military Jokes
Drill Sergeant: Gump! What’s your sole purpose in this army?
Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!
Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You’re a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people…
Forrest Gump: [narrates] Now for some reason I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It’s not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight and always answer every question with “Yes, drill sergeant.”
Drill Sergeant: …Is that clear?
Forrest Gump: Yes, drill sergeant!
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: That’s what all these cripples down at the VA talk about: Jesus this and Jesus that, have I found Jesus yet? They even had a priest come and talk to me. He said God is listening and if I found Jesus, I’d get to walk beside him in the kingdom of Heaven. Did you hear what I said? WALK beside him in the kingdom of Heaven! Well kiss my crippled ass. God is listening? What a crock of shit.
Forrest Gump: I’m going to heaven, Lieutenant Dan.
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Yeah? Well… before you go, why don’t you get your ass down to the corner and get us another bottle of ripple?
Forrest Gump: Yes, sir.
Bubba: My given name is Benjamin Buford Blue, but people call me Bubba. Just like one of them ol’ redneck boys. Can you believe that?
Forrest Gump: My name’s Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.
Mrs. Gump: Remember what I told you, Forrest. You’re no different than anybody else is. Did you hear what I said, Forrest? You’re the same as everybody else. You are no different.
Principal: Your boy’s… different, Miz Gump. His IQ’s 75.
Mrs. Gump: Well, we’re all different, Mr. Hancock. There must be something that can be done?
Principal: Is there a Mr. Gump, Miz Gump?
Mrs. Gump: He’s on vacation.
Richard M. Nixon: [awarding Forrest a U.S table tennis tournament medal in 1972] So, are you enjoying yourself in our nation’s capital, son?
Forrest Gump: Yes, sir.
Richard M. Nixon: So where are you staying?
Forrest Gump: Uh… it’s called the hotel airbot.
Richard M. Nixon: Oh, no, I know of this much nicer hotel that’s very new. It’s very modern. I’ll have my people set you up and take care of it for you.
Forrest Gump: [in the Watergate hotel; on phone with security] Yeah, sir, you might want to send a maintenance man over to that office across the way. The lights are off, and they must be looking for a fuse box, ’cause them flashlights, they keep me awake.
Forrest Gump: Those must be comfortable shoes, I bet you could walk all day in shoes like those and not feel a thing.
Nurse at Park Bench: My feet hurt.
Forrest Gump: My momma always said you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes, where they go, where they’ve been. I’ve worn lots of shoes, I bet if I think about it real hard I can remember my first pair of shoes.
Liked these famous Forrest Gump quotes? Then share them with your friends.