Armchair Expert Definition: How to Be Brilliant Without Standing Up
An Armchair Expert is a mythical creature known for solving global crises using only three tools:
A chair with excellent lumbar support,
Zero field experience, and
A podcast microphone (optional, but deeply harmful).
Originally bred in suburban basements and faculty lounges, Armchair Experts thrive in climates rich in opinions and low in consequences. Their natural diet includes Wikipedia summaries, half-read headlines, and a spicy side of “Well, actually…”
Primary Habits:
Interrupting scientists during volcano documentaries.
Correcting plumbers about water pressure using ancient Greek philosophy.
Explaining childbirth to people who have done it.
Mating Call:
“I’ve done a lot of research on this, actually.”
No one knows where the research lives. It has never been seen.
Warning: Exposure to more than one Armchair Expert at a dinner party may cause a condition known as Epistemic Rage, a disorder where facts attempt to self-immolate.
