Acrimony Definition: The Spice Rack of Human Resentment
Acrimony, from the Latin acri- (sharp) and mony (probably short for “money you owe me”), is the fine emotional powder sprinkled over every conversation in which someone is still mad about something that happened three years ago.
It is often stored in airtight jars behind polite smiles, but, like cumin, it escapes at the worst times. For example, you might detect acrimony when Aunt Myrtle compliments your new haircut in the exact same tone she once used to tell you the dog died.
Scientists believe acrimony travels faster than light, since your coworker can sense it before you’ve even entered the room. In extreme cases, it condenses into a visible fog, known as the awkward silence, which can suffocate small talk in under 15 seconds.
Warning: Never try to neutralize acrimony with cheerful optimism; this merely causes it to ferment into sarcasm, a more concentrated form of the same substance.
