99+ Best Really Funny Fish Puns And Jokes

Laugh like a maniac with these really funny fish puns. They’re the best fish jokes you’ll find.

They won’t help you catch any fish. But they make fun of everything related to the world of fishing. So I’m sure you’re gonna like them. After you’ve read them, please share them with your fishing buddies. Also, please bookmark this page right now so you can come back to it later.

Funny Fish Puns

Fishcious rumors.

Salmon had to say it.

You Betta believe it.

Not bad, cod do better…

What a load of pollocks!

Seems a bit fishy to me.

Cod you pass me the salt?

You’ve met your nemo-sis.

I think you’re fintastic.

Or you’re so sofishticated!

It’s a great oppor-tuna-ty!

We whaley need to stop now!

Cod that was bad, eely bad!

He really schooled you then.

We’re swimming along nicely.

Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!

You’re not quite up to scale.

Can you do any Betta than this?

Hoping to avoid turtle disaster.

Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now!

You’re clearly a Dab hand at this.

Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?

This is a big issue a-monk fishermen.

Anyone else want to rise to the bait?

Oh for Gods hake, not another fish pun.

All I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns!

Funny Fish Puns About Minnow
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I’d make him walk the plankton for that.

You better not, or you’ll feel my wrasse!

I won’t be cod dead participating in this.

Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.

This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick!

Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp.

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard plaice now!

Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!

I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.

I really believe that to the bottom of my sole.

Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.

Really Funny Fishing Joke About Annoying Mother-In-Law

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water.

Unable to swim, the man screamed for help.

A trout fisherman ran up.

The man said: “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I’ll give you a hundred dollars."

The fisherman dove into the water.

In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.

Putting her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said: “You’ve got your woman. Now gimme my hundred dollars."

The man replied: “When I saw her going down into the water, I thought it was my wife. But now I see that this is my mother-in-law."

The fisherman reached into his pocket and asked the man: “How much do I owe you?"

Please share this fishing joke right now. Then laugh at really funny mother-in-law jokes.

Good Fish Sayings And Puns

I’ll bait these puns can’t go on for much longer.

This is neither the time, nor the plaice for this.

We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
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I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.

Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.

Are you trying to gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?

We all just need to clam down now; I’m a bit shell shocked.

What is a trout’s main job? To keep his daughter off the pole.

What do you call a fish that destroys Japan? Codzilla.

What is a dolphin’s favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.

What was the Tsar of Russia’s favorite fish? Tsardines.

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.

What game do fish like playing the most? Name that tuna.

How do fish go into business? The start on a small scale.

What do you call an underwater social network? Fishbook.

Where are most fish found? Between the head and the tail.

Why did the whale cross the road? To get to the other tide.

Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up!

Never trust unlicensed puns – always check they’re o-fish-al.

You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun.

My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.

Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?

Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.

DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.

Funny Fish Jokes About Rivers And Other Stuff

Which day do fish hate? Fry-day.

What do whales eat? Fish and ships.

Where do fish sleep? In a water bed.

Who keeps the ocean clean? A mermaid.

Where do fish wash? In a river basin.

What kind of fish chase mice? Catfish.

How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed.

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The Codfather.
If you liked the last joke, please check out awesome Marlon Brando quotes that include quotes from Godfather. You can’t refuse this offer.

What fish only swims at night? A starfish.

Where do fish go to do yoga? The river bend.

What do you call a smelly fish? A stink ray.

What kind of fish plays the guitar? Bassist.

What do fish need to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.

What fish do road-menders use? Pneumatic krill.

What part of a fish weighs the most? It’s scales.

What do you call a talking crustacean? Holy crab.

Which fish go to heaven when they die? Angelfish.

What party game do fish like to play? Salmon Says.

Funny Fish Jokes About Koi
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Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish.
If you liked the last joke, please check out some funny Hollywood jokes right now.

What is the most expensive kind of fish? a goldfish.

What kind of fish only swims in hot oil? Fish sticks.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea? Jack the kipper.

What fish goes up the river at 100 mph? A motor pike.

Best Fish Jokes

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout? Monkfish.

Why don’t lobsters ever pay retail? Because they are Sale-fish.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.

Where do women keep their money when underwater? In a octurpurse.

What do you get from a bad-tempered shark? As far away as possible.

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house? He prawned everything.

What do you get when you cross a mink with an octopus? A coat of arms.

Why are fish such intelligent creatures? Because they swim in schools.

What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab? Snappy answers.
If you’re in a mood for math, have a laugh with funny math jokes right now.

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys? He got lockjaw.

What do you call a fish that can give you a face-lift? A plastic sturgeon.

Have you heard about the Sauna that serves food? Their specialty is steamed mussels.

What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon? An electric shark.

What bit of fish doesn’t make sense? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.

What did the people say when they were waiting for the dolphins to jump? Water they waiting for?

Joke About The Clever Man With Two Buckets Of Fish

Man was carrying two buckets of fish.

Game warden stopped him and asked: “Do you have a license to catch fish here?"

The man replied: “No. But I don’t need a license. These are my pet fish. Every night I take these fish to the lake and let them swim around. When I whistle, they jump back into their buckets and I take em’ home."

“That’s a bunch of crap. Fish can’t do that." replied the game warden.

“I’ll show you. It really works." the man said.

“I’ve got to see this." the game warden said.

The man poured the fish into the river. But nothing happened.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said: “Well?"

“Well what?" the man asked.

“When are you going to call them back?" the game warden replied.

“Call who back?" the man asked.

“The Fish." the warden replied.

“What fish?" the man asked.

 
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