Funny Santa Claus Jokes
These funny Santa Claus jokes will make you laugh. They are the best you will find.
Table Of Contents
Short Santa Jokes
These short Santa jokes are some of the best posted on The Net. You will laugh.
Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Why does not Santa have any kids? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A: Holly Davidson.
Q: What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? A: Claustrophobia.
Q: What nationality is Santa Claus? A: North Polish.
Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A: Rebel without a Claus.
Q: How do you know Santa Claus has to be a man? A: No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why does Santa like to work in the garden? A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
Santa’s Awkward Moment
The awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents.
Why I Never Believed In Santa Claus
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
Cop Does Not Like Santa’s Gift
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid replies, “Yeah.”
The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike.”
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humoring the kid, the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid continued, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”
Belief In Santa Claus
The 4 stages of life:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3. You dress up as Santa Claus
4. You look like Santa Claus.
10 Reasons Why A Woman Wants To Be Santa Claus
1. There’d be no more early morning decisions about what to wear to the office.
2. No one would bother to ask Santa Claus for a ride to work.
3. Buy one big brown belt and you’d be accessorized for life.
4. You’d always work in sensible footwear.
5. You’d never be expected to make the coffee.
6. There’d be no need to play office politics; a hearty ho-ho-ho would remind everyone who is the boss.
7. Juggling work and family would be easy. All your children would adore you; even your teenagers would want to sit in your lap.
8. You’d never take the wrong coat on your way home.
9. You could grow a tummy the size of Texas and consider it a job requirement of a funny Santa Claus.
10. No one would ask to see your job description.
Santa Claus And Other Mythological Creatures
Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.
Liked these funny Santa Claus jokes? Then share them with everyone you know. They would thank you.
Related Santa Claus Links:
1. EmailSanta.com: Santa Claus Jokes For Kids
2. Jokes4all.net: Santa Jokes
3. Gizmodo.com: Can Santa Claus Exist According To The Laws Of Physics?